tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76539446965103226082024-02-02T10:34:30.747-08:00The wonderful place we live inThoughts inside my head that I was patient enough to document and brave enough to share with the worldSri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-57406226604525267252015-06-13T07:30:00.003-07:002015-06-13T07:30:58.968-07:00Surviving the solitary life!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is crazy how you can have several ideas in your head for
the longest time but never get around to executing them. Over the last couple
of years, I have had so many things happen in my life, so many experiences that
I could have written about. But then, I shun the idea aside and start another
TV show marathon. So today, I sat down and decided I would write about one of
those experiences: Living on my own!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To start off, let me explain why living on my own is a big
deal for me. For the better part of my childhood I had a lot of trouble being
on my own, it might be sleeping alone or being in a house on my own. Somehow, I
was able to avoid most of these situations for a very long time. Even after I
moved to the United States for my Masters, I had a minimum of three roommates
at any point of time which ensured that I avoided the <i>being-on-my-own</i>
situations with almost a 100% success rate. In spite of all my insecurities
about living on my own, I always wanted to give it a shot. I am still not sure
if it is because I desperately wanted to conquer my fears or if I wanted to be
like one of the stud movie heroes who live such an ‘eventful’ life living
alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This March, I had the perfect opportunity. My parents were
going to visit me end of April and I needed the extra space. My first challenge
was to survive the six weeks from when I move in to the point where my parents
were going to come into town. In the weeks that followed, I was able to
overcome most of my fears and even started to enjoy living on my own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For my own amusement, I have decided to list out (in no
particular order) some of the things that help me keep my sanity and go about
my day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Wi-Fi: I guess it goes without saying that Wi-Fi is the
single most important thing that any home needs these days. Especially when you
live alone, it is almost as important as electricity or running water. Wi-Fi is
the life force that empowers other tools such as my television, smartphone and
laptop. One of the best decisions I made when I moved to my new apartment was
picking the fastest Wi-Fi connection the broadband company had available. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. Smart phone: Smartphones are almost on par with Wi-Fi in
terms of importance. This is the most convenient ways of communication and
entertainment, it can go into places where a television and a laptop cannot go.
It is my music in the shower, TV in times of need and keeps social networking
at my fingertips. Oh and I also use it to text people and call people when
being forever alone gets a little tiring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Television and TV shows: As a stand-alone unit, the
television is much like a human body in a coma. It works but with little
usefulness. But empowered with add-ons such as a cable connection, internet
connection and a Chromecast, it transforms into a powerful tool of
entertainment. When living alone, it is no longer optional, it is a
necessity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On evenings/weekends when I am just too lazy to get up from
my couch and socialize with anyone, the characters from the several TV shows I
watch become my friends and family. Their voices and lives fill the emptiness
of my house with life. I connect with them on so many levels and experience
their life as if it were my own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On several occasions, these shows provide me an escape from
my own personal reality. They keep boredom at bay and trigger my imagination
and at times inspire me to be something/someone different. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Music: This has always been an important part of my life.
As a part of living alone, music is always there for me. Mostly in the shadows,
sometimes actively keeping me company. My music is like a shape-shifter that
take on different forms based on the activity that I am doing. Most important
of them all is the trance music that puts me to sleep every single day. For
lesser important activities such as taking a shower, cooking or working out
there is the energetic western or eastern music that help me maintain the
energy levels. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Laptop: Perhaps not as vital as the television or the
smart phone, laptop is still a very essential part of my life. Even through
smart phones can do a lot of stuff, they cannot be used for a lot of other
stuff. For example, I could have never typed this rant (article) on a
smartphone even if it had the same version of MS word installed on it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">P.S. When I originally started writing this, I meant it to
be straight up funny. But somewhere along the way it turned slightly
darker. But the very fact that I was able to finish writing this gives me
hope that I still have it in me to sit down, think and express my feelings on
paper. Cheers! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-60953451634785139472012-12-08T11:29:00.000-08:002012-12-08T11:29:53.287-08:00The bright side of things!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
It was another grueling day of the dead week. I was bang-your-head-against-the-wall frustrated and when-will-this-semester-be-over desperate. I was searching for a distraction. A little something that could take my mind off the take home exam that I was working on till then. So as per ritual, I went on Wikipedia and started browsing through random things. The cool thing about Wikipedia and YouTube is you can never stop after reading one article/one video. There is always a link to something interesting or something that promises more knowledge about the topic you have been reading at that point of time.<br />
<br />
I do not remember how, but I came to this page on Wikipedia where they talked about the “Conservation status” of the animals in the world. I clicked through to the list of “Endangered species in North America”. Well let’s say that the number of animals on that list shocked me. There were categories of animals and each category had a pretty long list of animals which were on the brink of extinction from this planet. <br />
<br />
Seeing such a long list of animals, I started blaming our entire human race for all the hunting, poaching and all the other horrible things that we have done over the centuries that brought the existence of these creatures to such a critical point.<br />
<br />
I kept browsing though articles about random animals and reading the major reasons for their endangered status. My random browsing ended with an article on the California condor which was listed as a “Critically Endangered” species. Here is a little background information about these wonderful birds before I move on with my article.<br />
<br />
Condors are “New world vultures” and are the largest North American land birds. This California condor inhabits northern Arizona and southern Utah, coastal mountains of central and southern California, and northern Baja California. Its huge 3.0 m (9.8 ft) wingspan is the largest of any North American bird, and its weight of up to 12 kg (26 lb) makes it nearly equal the Trumpeter Swan, the largest among native North American bird species. The condor is a scavenger and eats large amounts of carrion. It is one of the world's longest-living birds, with a lifespan of up to 60 years.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGY1TtFotz_blcRZK9JhwnlyH7xpD4DLMxW3_5fVuZRSH8eWb027Sh8TCysWZkLEHeGKkbyQm6iscOByVLKvo5fLY3xhxpMy7wLrbdXeSEV09l0vjTcoU9ybFm21dEjHIaQDzDgb6Xi0jq/s1600/Condor_in_flight.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGY1TtFotz_blcRZK9JhwnlyH7xpD4DLMxW3_5fVuZRSH8eWb027Sh8TCysWZkLEHeGKkbyQm6iscOByVLKvo5fLY3xhxpMy7wLrbdXeSEV09l0vjTcoU9ybFm21dEjHIaQDzDgb6Xi0jq/s320/Condor_in_flight.JPG" /></a></div><br />
The first part of the article explained how the numbers of these birds came down drastically during the past 100 years. The major reasons cited for the decline in their numbers in the 20th century were poaching, lead poisoning, and habitat destruction. So my thought process went, “Here is another animal which used to live happily in its place of existence. In come the humans and destroy their homes to build their own and kill them for their own pleasure.”<br />
<br />
But it was the second part of the article that really impressed me. At one point of time in 1987, there were only 22 surviving Condors in the wild. They were the only survivors of a mighty race of birds. It was then that the United States government started a massive 35 million dollar program called the “California condor recovery plan” to replenish the numbers of Condors. They began by capturing all the remaining surviving condors and started breeding them in captivity. <br />
<br />
The program was so successful that by the end of May 2012, there were about 405 condors in existence. Part of them have been released into the wild since the beginning of the 1990’s and due to strict laws and designation of special protected areas for the condors their number started to grow in the wild as well. The program continues to grow with more success; they continue to release more condors into the wild.<br />
<br />
This proved one point about ourselves that I have never realized in such significance before. While we are capable of great destruction, we are also capable of massive resurrection. While it was our mistake to kill condors in the first place, the conservation efforts deserve credit for their success. As we continue to evolve as a species I think we will learn to share our habitat better with our fellow animals. Balance to the planet will be restored and man will continue to peacefully co-exist with nature. This article blends perfectly with the title of my blog. “The wonderful place which we live in!” It is indeed wonderful. <br />
<br />
As I continue to live in the happy place in my head, a quick look at the clock brings me back to reality and I am reminded that I have to start studying to survive a test. I don’t think there would be any resurrection opportunities for me if I don’t study! <br />
<br />
<i>Special thanks to all the people who work on Wikipedia to make knowledge available for free!</i><br />
</div>Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-53740011031237722452012-09-07T14:36:00.000-07:002012-09-07T14:39:40.551-07:00Somewhere I belong!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /></div><br />
I really thought this Linkin' Park song might be a very apt title for my first blog post since I have landed in the US. Well, it’s been a little more than a year since I have set foot in the land of opportunities. There have been several great experiences and memories that are worth mentioning. There have also been several setbacks and mistakes made which I wish never happened again. But then, that’s life. You need to keep moving on. <br />
<br />
The motivation for this post came from the everyday discussions people have at the place I work and in the University. They keep talking about the elections, which candidate is better, who has done more work for the country, which might do better in the future. It is all routine stuff really. I have had discussions of similar nature when I was in India.<br />
<br />
The moment I was asked a question about my take on the topic, I realized I had very limited knowledge of the topic and the people being discussed. In fact, I knew only a little more their names to be honest. That was a painful reminder of a fact that I have been trying to avoid/ignore for a while now: “Do I really belong here?” So, after this happened, I got back home, opened a regional Indian newspaper to see what was happening in the place I lived for 21 years. Surprisingly, the same feeling returned. I have not been following the recent events for so long that I forgot all about current affairs, politics, which leader is doing what or who are the new ministers. In fact, I was a little relieved that the Chief Minister was still the same person. <br />
<br />
That night, before I slept, I was contemplating about these weird experiences that I had. If I don’t belong here and if I am not well versed with the happenings in my place of birth, where do I belong? What does that make me? I am sure all the people who immigrate to foreign countries in pursuit or education or better opportunities experience these things at some point of time in their journey. It’s very unsettling really.<br />
<br />
So, what do I do? I try to look at people who have settled in the US for a long time and made this place their second home. I find that they are extremely well informed about the current happenings of not only this country, but also have a good knowledge of what is going on back home. In fact, I have found out that in some cases, these people have a better perspective as they see things from a third persons point of view. When I see these people, I truly understand the concept of a ‘global citizen’. This is where I want to reach in a few years’ time from now. <br />
<br />
Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments. I would be really interested to know if anyone else has experienced stuff like this. That’s it for now. Hope this will get me back to active writing. <br />
<br />
Take care folks!<br />
Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-66045213644980089892011-06-27T10:23:00.000-07:002011-06-27T10:26:46.930-07:00Anything for honor<span style="font-style:italic;">“Where am I? What am I doing here?” </span><br /><br />I opened my eyes slowly as the place I was in started coming into focus. I was lying in the foyer of a house. The whole scene looked as if a battle had taken place recently. Some chairs were overturned and some were broken.<br /><br />I tried to get to my feet. Was I hurt? As I started to regain my footing, a dull pain started to spread through my ribs. Yes, I was hurt, but not fatally. My bulk has saved me from a serious injury. It was a club that hit me. It all started coming back. It cannot be very long ago, just a few minutes since I passed out I thought. <br /><br />“I’ve to get to Rajesh sir” I thought to myself.<br /><br />I tiptoed my way into the backyard, eyes alert, looking for anyone who might still be lurking in the place. Highly unlikely, I thought. As I walked, I saw tread marks of a vehicle, tread marks unlike anything I’ve seen in the house before. I followed them till the back gate of the house before they disappeared on to the concrete road. <br /><br />I went to the place where I put the one thing I always found useful in these kind of emergencies. I dug it out of the bushes where I hid it and started sprinting through the fields into the darkness. I started to recollect when it all started. It was a routine evening.<br /><br />Before I get any further with what happened that evening, let me introduce myself. I am Trixie, a five year old, brown black German shepherd dog. At 35 kgs and 65 cms, I was one of the most adorable and feared dog in our little town. I was adorable because of my thick fur and my affability to children and feared by the thieves because I was one of the best and most intelligent police trained dogs in the town. I helped the police in nabbing four drug peddlers, tracked about ten local thieves and helped in tracing two bombs. <br /><br />In spite of being one of the most intelligent dogs on the police force, I loved the peaceful life of our town. My owner Kamala was a sweetheart who absolutely adored me. And I cared for her no less. Five years ago, she found me in the small wood adjacent to the farms when I was just a pup and dying of starvation. She brought me to her house, fed me, took care of me and gave me a home. <br /><br />She would spend one hour with me everyday no matter how busy she was. She meant the world to me and it used to drive me into an uncontrollable rage whenever someone one hurt her. Her dad in particular, used to beat her up when he was drunk. After I attacked him once when I was just two years old, he never dared to raise his hand against her again. He simply used to scold her till his drunken mood wore off. After I completed my police training, he stopped doing that as well. <br /><br />She was the daughter of a farmer, who was one of the many farmers in our little town. Kamala stopped her education after her class 12, because her father was not able to afford her education anymore. But the bright girl she always was, she set up a pickle business with the help of a loan from a self help group and now, at 21 years of age, ran one of the most successful businesses in our town. She was flooded with orders in summer and in the marriage season. She had plans of saving up enough money for her college and marriage. She also wanted to leave her family, marry and settle in another city. I didn’t blame her for it. Her parents were always pestering her for the money which she wanted to save for her college. And there was another reason. <br /><br />That evening was like any other evening. Kamala and I were on our routine evening walk on the mostly isolated mud road that ran alongside the river that flowed through the village. Kamala, like always had a hard time putting up with my speed as I tugged at my collar hard and ran in random directions smelling the earth. <br /><br />In a few minutes, we were joined by Ram, who was Kamala’s sweet heart. As usual, her grip slackened as she spotted him coming out from a turn. They started chattering away happily about their future plans. Ram was two years older than Kamala and was a good fellow. He had finished his degree recently and secured a permanent job in a computer firm. Kamala planned on marrying him and moving in with him as soon he found a house and everything. I was happy for them. Kamala made Ram promise her that I would come along with them to the city. I did not complain. As long as am with Kamala, I am a happy dog I thought to myself. <br /><br />“Don’t you think I should tell my parents before we plan on doing something?” Kamala asked Ram. I could sense a note of panic in her voice. She released her grip on my leash completely and I started moving along with them listening to them and smelling the familiar damp pathway. <br /><br />“I don’t think they’ll agree Kamala. You know that we are from different castes, and your family is particularly very stubborn. I talked to my parents and they approve of our marriage. But they don’t want to get involved in a fight with your family if it comes to that. I’ll lose the edge as I belong to a lower caste. My parents will end up getting banished by the Panchayat if they stand up against your family. It’s better if we just disappear. My parents will act as if they had no idea of what happened.” Ram said. <br /><br />“He has a point” I thought to myself. Though Kamala’s family wasn’t really well to do or anything, they carried a chunk on their shoulder that they belonged to a higher caste. They considered speaking to a person of a lower caste as a sin. A marriage was out of question. <br /><br />“I think. I think we should just leave without telling my parents then.” Said Kamala in a voice muffled with fear and pain. Ram put his arm around her shoulders and started to comfort her. As I walked around, I smelt the exhaust of a vehicle close by. <br /><br />“Very peculiar” I thought to myself. Vehicles usually don’t come on to this road. As I moved to my left into the thick bushes on either side of the path, I spotted someone lurking behind the bushes and spying on Kamala and Ram. I barked loudly and started running in the direction of the person. <br /><br />Ram and Kamala ignored me, assuming that I spotted a routine stray cat. The man who was lurking in the bushes was terrified as he saw me, teeth bared, barking angrily and sprinting with great speed in his direction. He ran in the opposite direction into the fading sunset. I ran behind him for a good ten minutes till he got into a jeep and accelerated away. <br /><br />I remembered that Kamala might be searching for me and ran back to the spot where she would usually wait when I wandered off into the bushes. She was not there. I looked around and spotted a trickle of blood a few feet away from me. <br /><br />“Ram is in trouble” I thought to myself as I took in his scent. I followed it keenly as it led me the deep bushes on the right of the pathway. “What happened to Kamala?” There was no trace of her scent at the spot I found the blood. <br /><br />As I ran into the bushes, the smell of his scent mixed with the smell of blood got stronger. I saw his lying face down, sprawled in the grass. He was bleeding profusely from the back of his head. I circled him completely, checking for any signs of other injuries. He was unconscious but not dead. Long experience with the police taught me that I should find help first. I picked up a second scent, probably the man who attacked Ram. It was strong enough to be followed. But I needed to get Ram some help first. <br /> <br />As I started running to the pump house a few hundred feet away where I was sure I could find help. I started to worry about Kamala. If someone attacked Ram when he was with her, there was a good chance she was in trouble as well. <br /><br />I stopped at the pump house and started barking loudly at the door of the maintenance man’s cabin. He opened the door and looked at me. He knew me as I once helped him trace a thief who stole some jewelry from his house.<br /><br />“What is it Trixie boy? Something wrong?” he asked and looked at me though the darkness. I pushed my leash towards him and barked again. He got the hint and took hold of my leash immediately. He called out for another person and he joined us as I led them in the direction where I found Ram. <br /><br />“God, he is badly injured. Ganesh go call an ambulance immediately. We’ll carry him to the pump house and clean him up a bit. Good job Trixie.” He said and patted my head. The job was only half done. I still had to find out where Kamala was. <br /><br />I ignored his startled cries and started running in the direction of our house. If she was attacked I wouldn’t find her at the house I thought to myself. But that was the first place I could search. I heard muffled cries from inside the house as I approached closer to the house. I jumped the wall in the backyard and moved quietly in the direction of the sound. The cries got louder as I came closer.<br /><br />“How dare you insult our family by falling in love with that wretched Ram guy? Do you know what shame you brought upon us? How can I ever show my face to the people of the town again?” Kamala’s dad shouted as a heard the sound of wood hitting against skin and a muffled sob. <br /><br />“You wanted to run away with all our money didn’t you? You wretched girl!” I heard Kamala’s mom scream before I heard a tight slap. Another muffled sound issued from the room. I was sure that Kamala was bound and gagged. <br /><br />My whole body shook with a blind rage as I did the biggest mistake of my life. I barked with mad anger and ran to the front door trying to push it open with my paws. There was someone waiting for me. It was the same scent of the man from the bushes. He must have had another accomplice, the one who attacked Ram. I yelped with pain as I felt three heavy blows strike my rib cage and head. I was out cold before I knew it. <br /><br />I still felt the dull pain throb my head as I ran in the direction of the police station with the collar that bore my identification number held tight between my teeth. Rajesh sir was the person who took care of the dogs in the police station. He was also the person who trained me. I hoped with all my heart that he was in. <br /><br />I reached the entrance as two constables looked at me in the darkness, ready to jump and stop me from entering the police station. They apparently thought I was a stray rabid dog on a biting spree. I stopped before and held my collar out at them. They saw the name and the number on the leash. <br /><br />“Is someone in trouble?” he asked me. He recognized me from some previous theft job I helped them trace down. I barked madly and turned in the direction I came from and barked again.<br /><br />He removed the wireless from his pocket and spoke into it.<br /><br />“Rajesh sir, your dog Trixie is here. And I think he has something.” He said into the wireless.<br /><br />In five minutes Rajesh sir was with me. We were running in the direction of the house. Rajesh sir didn’t even use a leash. He was sure I would lead him to the right place. We ran to the house which was now deserted. I led Rajesh sir into the room where I heard the screams. We spotted some ropes, sticks and a trickle of blood. <br /><br />“Control room, this is Rajesh speaking. We are in the north of the town in house number 23-43/1 opposite the Shiva temple. There are signs of violence in the place and I want three armed constables with me within fifteen minutes.” Rajesh sir spoke into his wireless. <br /><br />Time was running out. I had to find where they took Kamala before they did something to her and it was too late. I ran around the house looking for some clue. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me. I ran in the direction of the place where I found the marks of a vehicle after I woke up. I smelt the tracks of the vehicle. It was the same jeep from the evening. With some luck we could trace down the vehicle.<br /><br />The two people were apparently relatives of Kamala’s dad. They found out about Kamala and Ram and wanted to stop them from running away. The person in the bushes was a trap to lure me away from them. The other man attacked Ram and took away Kamala he must’ve used some method to conceal her scent. I barked loudly and Rajesh sir came to my side and I started running on the highway. I could trace the smell of the jeep amongst the trucks and the cars. <br /><br />As the scent began to become hard to follow, I started to lose hope. Just as I was starting to give up, I was struck by fortune. The jeep veered from the highway and took a turn into the fields. I was much easier to track the scent now, amongst the smell of the paddy fields. <br /><br />After half a kilometer, we found the jeep parked in an obscure corner. I smelt the seats. I smelt Kamala, her dad, her mother and the persons who attacked me and Ram. The scent was now so strong that I could walk with my eyes closed. We reached the edge of a field which had a shack on the other corner. The lights were glowing brightly in the pitch black night. <br /><br />I sensed it, and I was sure Rajesh sir sensed it too. The people were in the shack. We tiptoed our way to the side of the shack. We hid behind some bushes and peeped into the room. Kamala was there, bound and gagged. Her father was speaking.<br /><br />“You don’t deserve to live if you don’t change your mind about marrying that low class bastard.” Even from a distance I could sense that he was totally drunk. There was the other person who was looking out at the door. <br /><br />“Constables, change of location, come immediately to the paddy fields located on the first left after the first kilometer stone of the highway, I need you here ASAP. Come from the south and find us hiding behind the shack where you can see the lights shining” He whispered into the wireless set. <br /><br />In the meanwhile, I could see Kamala’s parents dousing her in kerosene. They wanted to burn her to death in the isolated farm.<br /><br />The constables arrived in the nick of time, and we nabbed all the four people who wanted to kill Kamala. Kamala had to be taken to the hospital as she was on the brink of unconsciousness. In a few days of time, both Kamala and Ram were back to their routine after healing from their injuries. They got married under strict police custody and the three of us were to soon leave the town to the city. All was well and I was the happiest dog in the whole world. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Author’s note: Honor killings are a dark mark on the 21st century developing India. In a country where hundreds of castes and creeds co-exist, it is still considered an offence to marry a person from another caste or community, more so when the person is from a lower caste. Here are the various other reasons that lead to honor killings.<br /><br />(a) Dressing in a manner unacceptable to the family or community, <br />(b) Wanting to terminate or prevent an arranged marriage or desiring to marry by own choice, <br />(c) Engaging in heterosexual sexual acts outside marriage, or even due to a non-sexual relationship perceived as inappropriate, <br />(d) Engaging in homosexual acts. <br /><br />People from villages and under developed areas in particular consider this as a loss of prestige and are ready to kill their children for it. These acts are mostly directed at women and girls. The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) estimates that perhaps as many as 5,000 women and girls a year are killed by members of their own families. Many women's groups in the Middle East and Southwest Asia suspect the victims are at least four times more. <br /><br />In India, Honor killings have been reported in northern regions of India, mainly in the Indian states of Punjab, Rajasthan, Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, as a result of people marrying without their family's acceptance, and sometimes for marrying outside their caste or religion. <br /><br />Bhagalpur in the northern Indian state of Bihar has also been notorious for honor killings. Recent cases include a 16-year-old girl, Imrana, from Bhojpur who was set on fire inside her house in a case of what the police called ‘moral vigilantism’. The victim had screamed for help for about 20 minutes before neighbors arrived, only to find her still smoldering. She was admitted to a local hospital, where she later died from her injuries. <br /><br />It’s time we spread awareness amongst the people and stop people from committing such heinous crimes to their own children. It’s only when these social illnesses cease to exist among the people, we can call ourselves a developed country. </span>Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-50663743999137482672011-06-21T05:22:00.000-07:002011-06-21T09:11:49.580-07:00Love: 'Arranged' at first sight!“One. . Two. . Three. . And heave.” <br /><br />I felt every muscle in my body ache as we tried to push the stone aside. It had already been two hours since we found the entrance to the cave where we had evidence of the existence of a dinosaur fossil, a completely unique dinosaur which would be a ground breaking discovery in the field of Paleontology. But the wretched rock prevented our entry.<br /><br />“Let’s make one last attempt guys. If it fails, we’ll call for an earth mover or something for help.” said my teammate Sandesh. <br />He and I were the only Indian people on the team. The six of us nodded our heads and got ready for a final push. The seven of us combined the last reserves of our energy and gave one final heave. This time, it worked! The huge rock moved aside, revealing a dark tunnel. It must’ve been here for ages but no one had discovered it for so long. <br /><br />We moved in cautiously with our headlamps and flashlights illuminating the path. As I moved forward observing the limestone deposits on the walls of the cave, one of my teammates yelled, “Watch out Rahul you are on the edge.”<br /><br />But it was too late; I stepped on some loose earth and lost my footing. Before I knew it, I was plummeting down into a huge fracture in the ground probably caused by an earthquake. As I wondered if I’d be alive by the time I touched the ground, I heard a bored voice from above.<br /><br />“Dude, are you going to wake up or should I switch off the fan?” <br /><br />I woke up with a start and gaped at the blurred form of my sister. “So it was just a dream.” I thought to myself. Damn, it felt so real! I rubbed my eyes and squinted at my sister and she came into better focus. I looked at her appearance and gaped at her.<br /><br />“Woah, don’t tell me that we are going out for some marriage on a very short notice.” I said and smirked at her. <br /><br />My sister, who was in the final year of her med school, was a person who rarely gave a damn about how she looked. It was only on rare occasions that she dressed up the way she did right now. She was wearing a red and white salwaar with heavy embroidery, a heavy gold necklace and bangles which she hated. Her shoulder length hair was straightened and looked sleek. <br /><br />“When you find out why I’m dressed up, you won’t be so smug annayya.” She said as she gave me a twisted smile and walked out of the room. <br /><br />This might be trouble, I thought. I looked up at the watch. It was close to eleven in the morning. The jetlag hadn’t worn off. I was home after a long time. Four years, I thought to myself. Finishing my masters, immediately getting a job offer from one of the best design companies in Canada, it was a dream run. It was after all these years that I was finally able to afford a vacation. <br /><br />I twisted lazily on the bed, and looked at my iphone which was lying on the side of the pillow. The last conversation I had before falling asleep made me let out a weary sigh. My two year old relationship with my French girlfriend was facing a deep crisis. <br /><br />Matters took a shitty turn when my father found out about it from some of my facebook conversations when I didn’t log off from the home computer after I came back home. That was a week ago. From then, it was a choose-between-your-parents-or-girlfriend situation for me. <br /><br />Though Victoria and I agreed right from the beginning that we would take the next step only with the consent of the two families, it was hard to break away from her. One week of talking with my dad hadn’t yielded any result. He was very stubborn about the whole thing. It was unlike him. He was always a man who gave my views a good thought. That stubbornness was what alarmed me. <br /><br />“If you try hard enough, we can convince your parents. It is not impossible.” <br /><br />“But I don’t think your parents can ever accept me. I don’t want you to abandon them or fight them for me.” said Victoria. She was wavering between agreeing to break up and unable to leave me. She had a point.<br /><br />“Even if you marry her, she can’t adapt into a family like ours. She’ll have a tough time adjusting to our traditions and customs. You may say all that can be worked out, she is ready to adapt and she’ll be ready to live with us. All this may sound good in movies. But I’ve seen too many relationships fail after marriage due to reasons like frustrations arising from fighting stubborn relatives and families who refuse to accept the couple.” said my dad. Coming from an ultra conservative family, he had a valid point too. <br /><br />Unable to decide on what to do next, my vacation was being spent in utter confusion. I got up and made my way into the living room. The room looked neat and prim as usual. My dad was sitting in the farthest corner talking to someone on the phone. I noticed that he was dressed up too, like my sister. He was wearing a neat pant and shirt and not in the Lungi and Baniyan which he preferred whenever he was home on holidays. He looked at me and nodded his head. I nodded my head in return and walked into the kitchen. <br /><br />My mother was there busy cooking. She was also dressed up in an elegant saree, cooking in bigger vessels. I noticed Pulihora and Paneer. <br /><br />“Is anyone coming to see sis?” I asked her. There was no other reason why all of them were dressed up so nicely on a Sunday morning, especially my sister. But her expressions in the morning suggested otherwise. She meant I was in trouble, not her. But there was no chance that it could be happen without my dad telling me beforehand.<br /> <br />“You still didn’t brush your teeth? Look at yourself Rahul, you look all groggy. Oh my god, go brush your teeth and take a bath. What will they think when they see you like this?” she bellowed at me. She was angry that I still in my bed clothes and anxious for some other reason.<br /><br />“Amma, what is going on?” I questioned in a firm voice. I needed to know what the heck was going on in the house. <br /><br />The anger vanished from my mother’s voice and she looked apprehensive and started fidgeting. <br /><br />“Dad got a match for you Rahul. They’re coming over for lunch today.” she said. She looked at me with tension clearly showing on her face. She was bracing herself for my violent reaction.<br /><br />My body stiffened up at her words and my grogginess disappeared. I became alert and a fresh burst adrenaline started to course through my blood. My whole body started shaking with anger. I was in such a rage that words didn’t come out properly from my mouth.<br /><br />“Why. . . Why haven’t you told me?” I managed to mutter, trying to keep my voice steady and from shouting at her in anger.<br /><br />“They are just coming over for lunch. It’s nothing serious. Talk to your dad. It was his idea.” She said and turned back to her cooking. I could see her flinch. <br /><br />I stormed into the living room. I was in such a blind rage, I wanted to lift something and break it against the wall. I felt mutinous. My dad was sitting in the same corner, his face obscured by the newspaper. I stood there until her shifted the newspaper to turn a page. He saw me staring at him, put the paper aside and motioned me to sit. I didn’t feel like sitting but under my father’s pointed gaze I always found it very difficult to shout. I was intimidated and I hated it.<br /><br />“I know you don’t like it. I’m not trying to do this out of anger or out of an insecure feeling. I know how much you love us and I also know that you are trying to end your relationship because we don’t approve of it. Don’t think I don’t appreciate what you’ve done. Just meet the girl and talk to her. I am calling them over just for lunch. We won’t discuss marriage. I just want to you to experience how arranged marriage takes place. How we used to marry a girl after seeing her for a few minutes and talking to her for an hour or two. Now go and get ready. I am sure you want to present yourself decently.” he said in a calm voice without any sign of agitation or anger. <br /><br />I opened my mouth to protest. But he sounded reasonable. There was no immediate threat. I could just pass it off as a meeting with some random friend of my dad and his family. For the second time in the day, I just nodded my head and walked off. I brushed and looked at myself in the mirror. I had a three day old stubble. Long experience made me learn that girls liked guys with a stubble rather than a clean face with no facial hair. I looked at my six foot frame. Not bad, I thought to myself. At 25, I was fair, had a weight well proportioned to my height, broad shoulders and thick dark hair which I kept short most of the time.<br /><br />I took a head bath and wore a short length white shirt which I didn’t tuck in. I wore a slightly old pair of faded blue jeans. I wanted to look good, but I didn’t want to look like a person who was eager to please. As I finished dressing up, I heard a car pull up in front of our house. I came out of my room and came out along with my parents and sister to greet the guests. <br /><br />Three people got down from a Ford Figo. The man was about my father’s age with conventional features for his age. He was of medium height with a gaunt face, slight paunch and with grey black hair which was receding rapidly. His wife was a short and plump woman with a cheerful face. The girl was the last person to get down from the car. She must’ve been my age I thought, probably a year or two younger. She was about five foot eight, tall for a girl, had a golden white complexion which was enhanced by a salwaar with a deep violet top and a white bottom with a print on it. She made her taste clear. She wanted to look elegant but not gaudy. She had long silky hair which crossed her shoulders and came a few inches above her waist. She was slim with a trim waistline and no sign of extra weight. She had deep set brown eyes. I looked her as she entered the foyer of the house along with her parents. She smiled pleasantly at my parents and folded her hands into a respectful Namaste. She gave my sister a friendly handshake.<br /><br />“Smooth” I thought to myself. <br /><br />She was not trying to overdo it. She looked calm and composed. I greeted her parents with a formal Namaste and shook hands with her dad. Our eyes met as we walked into the living room. Her gaze was calm and steady as I looked into her eyes and sized her up. I had a feeling that she was doing the same. She had a very piercing gaze. I found it hard to withdraw from the steady eye contact. I flinched slightly as she kept looking at me even after all our parents had settled down into the sofas and started exchanging pleasantries. She caught me flinching and smiled. I found myself smiling in return. She had a pleasant warm smile. It was a sweet smile neither haughty nor stupid. I felt dumb. This was the first time I had broken eye contact with a girl. All my life it happened the other way round. My sister, who was following the whole chain of events silently, looked at me with a smirk written all over face. I gave her a dirty look and she turned away trying to hide a grin.<br /><br />We introduced ourselves to the family on the other side. I found out that her name was Sanjana and she was working as a charted accountant for a famous firm in Hyderabad. I was right. She was about my age just a year younger to me. I explained her parents about my job in Canada where I designed safety systems and improved the existing ones for automobiles. I also told them about my plans to leave the country after the end of the contract next year and settle here. From the look of it, they looked pretty impressed. After sometime, both the older women escaped into the kitchen discussing recipes while my father and the girl’s father immersed themselves in discussing current politics.<br /><br />I found myself engaged in a three sided conversation with my sister and Sanjana; we talked about random things like friends and our respective areas of work. Sanjana had a sweet feminine voice which was neither too shill nor too meek. She listened attentively to my sister as she told her about her course and spoke with enthusiasm when she had to reply. She always maintained eye contact when she addressed me and talked to me with ease and confidence. Not a girl who can be intimidated, I thought. <br />“Rahul, why don’t you show Sanjana the floor upstairs? Said my dad after a while. My sister made a smooth apology and disappeared into her room. I was soon upstairs with her giving a tour of the recently constructed floor upstairs. She took in everything with enthusiasm, her deep brown eyes darting in all directions whenever I pointed to some painting or decoration and why we picked it up. Soon, we were sitting on a pair of chairs in the balcony. <br /><br />“You have to know that I already have a girlfriend and she is French. Her name is Victoria.” I told her in a flat voice. <br /><br />“Oh . . . That’s cool . . . How did you meet her?” She asked with no sign of emotion in her voice. <br /><br />I told her about how I met her in the first year of my master’s course and how we have similar ideas and how much we liked each other. <br /><br />“That’s very sweet . . . So, you people plan on marrying each other?” She asked, again, with no sign of emotion. But I could see that she was paying rapt attention. Her gaze never left my face as I spoke. <br /><br />I told her about everything about my situation. How we decided on proceeding to the next step only if our parents approved of it, how my dad disapproved of the whole thing and how I was in a fix on what I should do next. <br /><br />She listened to my ten minute long monologue and nodded her head but did not say anything in response for a long moment. I could see she was thinking. As a person who hated awkward silences, I had to say something to break it.<br /><br />“So, how about you? Did you ever fall in love with anyone?” I asked her in a matter of fact tone. <br /><br />She looked at me for a moment before answering and said, “Yes . . . I did . . . I fell in love with this guy who was my classmate used to work with me in my first job one and half years ago. It was all very good in the beginning, but soon he started imposing himself on me. He started getting insecure whenever I used to talk with other guys. Yes, he was very devoted and caring, but soon after my father found out, all hell broke loose and I found it very difficult to cope with his insecure feeling and the pressure at home about marrying a guy who is not of the same caste. I tried to fight and convince them, but one day I sat down and weighed my options. I decided it was not worth it. It was very traumatic for the next few months. But I got over it now. He is transferred to another place and it’s been a long time since we talked to each other. And yes, I do miss him, but I am ready to move on with life.” <br /><br />Her calm voice and her honesty impressed me. I was not expecting such an honest account of life from a girl I’d met for the first time in my life. <br /><br />“Why did you tell me all this? Don’t you want to make a good impression?” I asked her, looking into her eyes. <br /><br />“I don’t know. . . Why did you tell me all that? You didn’t want to make a good impression either?” she said, boring her eyes into mine. <br /><br />I was taken aback and kept looking at her face, feeling a warm feeling of intimacy growing between the two of us. <br /><br />“I trust you. If you like me, I want to marry you.” She said suddenly.<br />I nodded my head. <br /><br />“I like you too. This is the best first meeting I’ve had with a girl till date.” I said and paused.<br /><br />What has gotten into me? I thought to myself. I met the girl an hour ago, I knew nothing about her interests, her hobbies, her likes or dislikes. But I had already started imagining marrying her and living with her. I am shallow, I thought to myself. Forgetting the girl I liked for two long years after talking to this girl for an hour. Was it because of a feeling of security that she could make herself a part of my family? Was it because of the feeling that she had a similar upbringing and could understand me better? Was it because I thought she could reconcile with my past and live with me comfortably? <br /><br />As I kept looking at her, lost in thoughts, my mother shouted saying that lunch was ready and we went down to join them. Lunch was cheerful and filled with laughter and healthy conversation. Soon, they had to leave. I shook hands with Sanjana’s dad. She made a respectful greeting to my dad and mom yet again. She wished my sister good bye with another handshake. I could see that they had exchanged phone numbers. <br />We simply looked and nodded at each other. I came back into my room and lay down on the bed. I closed my eyes and replayed our meeting. I must’ve dozed off due to the heavy lunch when I heard a voice. <br /><br />“Wake up dude . . . Screw your jetlag. . . Wake up. . . I need to talk you about something. . .” It was my sister yelling at the top of her voice. <br />I woke up with a start and looked around. The time was eleven and the sun was shining brilliantly. My iphone was lying on the side of my pillow and was not in my pocket as I put it last. My sister was dressed up in a t-shirt and pajamas, her hair in a knot on the top of her head. <br /><br />“Listen, dad said that there is a family coming over for lunch. It’s a potential match for you. This is the picture of the girl.” She said and passed me the photo. <br />I looked the person in the picture and gaped. She was talking about something, but I didn’t quite catch it. I kept staring at the picture.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-42085836268304745232011-03-04T10:31:00.000-08:002011-03-04T10:35:44.358-08:00L.O.V.E. Part IIRakesh come back into the world and looked around him. The sun was still shining and the kids were still playing. Reema switched on the portable music player and the Bee Gee’s 1977 song, <span style="font-style:italic;">‘How deep is your love’</span> started playing. It was their favorite song from the time they fell in love. Reema looked in his direction and gave him a wink. Rakesh smiled in spite of his serious mood. He found it amazing that his kids still swayed to the tune of the song that was more than 30 years old. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"I know your eyes in the morning sun…<br />I feel you touch me in the pouring rain…<br />And the moment that you wander far from me…<br />I wanna feel you in my arms again…<br />Then you come to me on a summer breeze…<br />Keep me warm in your love…<br />Then you softly leave…<br />And it's me you need to show…<br />How deep is your love…"</span><br /><br />But this triggered another memory in his head. The person who made him ask himself the question for the second time.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">August 1997, Virginia Tech University, Roanoke.</span><br /><br />“Love? It sounds like such a plastic word already.” Were the first lines she spoke to him. <br /><br />She was two years his junior, doing her under graduation in the same department as his. And just like him, she was nursing a broken heart and had become skeptical about the veracity of love. Being a part of a very small community of Indians in the University, soon, they started seeing a lot of each other.<br /><br />The first half year of their knowing each other was spent in philosophical discussions pertaining to various things like life, love and how they impact the human life. And not before long, they started liking and respecting each other. And not too long after that, they started dating each other. <br /><br />Soon, the city was theirs. Weekends were almost spent entirely with each other avoiding all other human contact. Movies, restaurants, parks, long drives in rented cars. In a few months, they visited almost every place that had chairs to sit or some food to eat.<br /><br />“We’ll make this work. We understand each other completely, we have the same set of ideals in life and we can have a wonderful life together.” She said to Rakesh on a cold December evening as they cuddled up with each other. <br /><br />“Yes, we will make this work.” Rakesh said, beaming with pleasure and happiness, looking at the girl who mended his broken heart and made him believe in love again.<br /><br />They were insanely happy as they slowly waltzed to the song playing on the tape recorder. The Bee Gee’s accentuated their mood by singing ‘How deep is your love’. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">September 1999.</span><br /><br />“We need to give each other time. Maintaining a long distance relationship is going to be very tough. “<br /><br />Rakesh had graduated out of college and was about to get back to India to work in a reputed company. They had spent the last few weeks preparing each other mentally for this very moment.<br /><br />“Yeah… I totally understand all that” She said, as they looked into each other’s eyes.<br /><br />“We need to give each other time to adjust to our new lives. It is not going to be easy for both of us. We are going to meet new people and going new places. All I am trying to say is that, we need to take this break to learn how to live without each other.” Rakesh said, as he held her tight.<br /><br />They spent the rest of the day with each other planning how they would talk to each other every day and how they could meet once every year. <br /><br />The last image Rakesh had of her was in the airport. Her face was white with the physical strain of holding back her tears. He felt weak in the knees and his heart heavy.<br /><br />As he boarded the plane, he wondered.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Is this love? Is it a convenience? Is it something that can be paused because the people were going away to different places? Something that distance can decrease? A feeling that can alter because the physical distance is increasing?”</span><br /><br />He felt stupid about the whole ‘giving each other a break’ thing. But, he was still unsure if he could stand the darker emotions like doubt, insecurity and jealously. He was trying to barricade love so that none of these unpleasant emotions could creep into his head. <br /><br />But somewhere, deep down, he had faith that he could still make this relationship a permanent one.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-78445997757374453102011-02-25T10:45:00.000-08:002011-02-25T11:06:22.312-08:00L.O.V.E. Part I<span style="font-style:italic;">Present day, a private island near Hawaii.</span><br /><br />It was a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun was just bright enough to make the day neither hot nor cold. The long stretch of sand that marked the coast of the little island was empty expect for a small patch of land which had a landing for a ship. A couple of maintenance engineers fussed about the motors of a beautiful private yacht which was anchored there, while the other members of the crew sat there and enjoyed the beautiful Sunday sunshine.<br /><br />On the other side of the island, on another beach was Rakesh. At 35, he was one of the most successful entrepreneurs of the world. His engineering skills combined with a thorough knowledge of the industry made him grow on the professional ladder of the company where he was first employed as an assistant engineer. Realizing that his full potential could only be realized only when he became his own boss; he started his own industry with help from people who believed in his potential. Six years later, there he was, spending his summer Sunday in his own private island with his family.<br /><br />At 30, people could easily mistake him for a 25 year old. His deep business involvements and the stress of managing a company did not affect his features. He still had the boyish charm which won him many a hearts in his college life. The wind rippled through his curly hair which was left in a tussled mess, the way he always liked it. His loose Hawaiian shirt showed through it a lean torso which was always in shape with the help of a strict fitness regime that he never missed. <br /><br />As he sipped on his orange juice comfortably settled in his easy chair, he gave a loving look and the three figures he saw on the beach. His wife, Reema, a successful lawyer, a caring wife and a devoted mother. His son Ryan, an energetic ten year old who could never get enough of cricket and football. His five year old daughter Deeksha, who showed an unending passion for dance. <br /><br />As he looked on at them splashing water at each other and laughing in joy, he reminded himself how lucky he was to have such a wonderful family which supported him through thick and thin and made his life meaningful. As he was musing this to himself, Reema came towards him drenched in water, a smile spread across her beautiful moon shaped face. The sunshine made her soft brown skin look more luminent. Her five foot seven inch frame looked leaner than usual with the soft top and pajamas she was wearing. <br /><br />“Are you sure you don’t want to build sand castles with us?’” she asked, giving him a small peck on the cheek. <br /><br />“You people carry on; I’ll join you in a bit. I just want to watch you people for a while.” Rakesh remarked looking up at his wife.<br /><br />“Alright, come join us soon.” Reema said, as she picked up a small shovel and a bucket. <br /><br />Rakesh watched her as she called out to the kids, who came running to their mother. They huddled up in a small part of the beach and started digging sand for the grand castle. He felt love pouring out of him for his family. Love, the force that binds people, the unfathomable feeling that holds people together. <br /><br />“What is love?” he thought to himself. As he thought about it, he remembered the first time he asked himself that same question.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">September 1993, Punjab Engineering College, Chandigarh.</span><br /><br />The first days in an engineering college are special to everyone. The transition from a school to a college brings about a mixture of emotions in a person. They grow in knowledge and maturity, simultaneously their heart pines for love and care from another person.<br /><br />Rakesh was no exception. The first time he saw her, he was convinced that she was the girl for him and nothing in the world could stop him from winning her heart. His heart was already won over by her innocent eyes and beautiful face. Payal was a typical Punjabi girl with a face complexion like that of milk, huge black beautiful eyes which could win over any male in a matter of minutes. Her physique was such that, it drove guys crazy without being obnoxiously thin or voluptuously tempting. <br /><br />He started going with her in an auto, ignoring the brand new scooter that his dad gifted him on his admission into college. Talking to her for the first time was proved mighty difficult for him. But one lucky break got him going and soon, they started talking more and more. Soon, he was spending an hour extra in campus in the canteen and college ground, talking to Payal, each day, growing fonder of her and more convinced that there could be no other pair in the world with such similar interests and synchronizing personalities and opinions. He just couldn’t wait for the right moment to express his love for her. That day came soon. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">24th April 1994</span><br /><br />It was Payal’s 19th birthday. Rakesh planned everything in advance, calling her to his flat just for five minutes, so that they could exchange materials for Thermodynamics. He drove out his roommates saying that his parents were visiting him for the evening. He cleaned the messy place and arranged a small corner with all the flowers he could gather in the various gardens of the neighbors. The cake he placed amidst that small forest of flowers. He put the beautifully wrapped present in one corner.<br /><br />He met her that morning, acting as if he never remembered that it was her birthday. He observed her sulky attitude in the evening with a smile, remembering what he planned ahead. He was filled with nervousness and apprehension about what would transpire and how she would react as her guided her on the steps to his flat. <br /><br />“So, here we are. Come inside, you want some water or something?” Rakesh asked as they moved into the two bedroom apartment. <br /><br />“No, I’m fine. You people have a nice place for yourself. It’s wonderful to live on your own isn’t it? You people keep the place so neat” she said, as she looked around the place. <br /><br />“Yeah, it’s nice to live on your own, to have freedom, to be self dependent… Yeah, it’s wonderful” Rakesh remarked. “Come in here, I have the materials here”, Said Rakesh, as he pointed out to the room where he arranged his little surprise. <br /><br />He guided Payal into the room and lit the nights. Before she could take in the flowers and the pla card amongst them that read happy birthday, Rakesh grabbed her hand and wished her happy birthday with a smile.<br /><br />“Wow, you did all this... All this for me?” Payal exclaimed, still looking at the flowers and the cake in between them.<br /><br />“Well… Yeah… I sort of... Wanted to give you a little surprise. Did you… Did you like it” Rakesh said, with a note of apprehension to his voice. <br /><br />“You are asking me if I like it? No one has ever done anything like this for me Rakesh, I feel so special. Thank you so much” She remarked as she held his wrist and looked into his eyes.<br /><br />“I’m… I’m so glad that you like it… Come, let’s cut the cake” He said, as they walked to the table, still holding to each other’s wrists.<br /><br />The next sixty minutes were memorable, as they cut the cake made each other eat it. They sat down in the balcony, talking about the evening, college and life. <br /><br />“Do I get to take the present at least now?’ Payal asked, eyeing the package on the table as she prepared to leave. <br /><br />“Yes, you can. But before you leave, I want to say something Payal. Listen to me first and then take the gift.” Rakesh said, as he felt the butterflies fly in the depths of his stomach.<br /><br />“Payal, ever since the day I met you for the first time, my beautiful life became more beautiful than it previously was. With you, I feel happier than ever. I feel more complete and happy. I wanted to ask you if you share the same feelings for me. If you do, I’m sure we can spend the rest of our lives together and happy. That gift I gave you has a record of the beautiful memories that we shared till date which I hope will be filled with more beautiful memories in the future. ” <br /><br />He let go of her hand and looked at her in nervous apprehension, as she remained dead silent for a couple of minutes, her face transacting from shock to realization of what she just heard. <br /><br />“I… I just can’t tell you anything now…” Payal said, as she ran off with the present in her hand. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">29th April 1994</span><br /><br />“I can’t do this Rakesh.” Payal said, avoiding his eyes, looking at the ground and toying with the threads on her college bag.<br /><br />“Okay, tell me the reason why you said no to me. I’ll not bother you again.” Rakesh said, as he let out a sigh.<br /><br />“Well… I don’t know… I just feel you are not the right person for me… I mean… I still like you and all… But… I don’t know… I just don’t have that feeling that you are the guy for me… I’m not scared that my parents will say anything and all… But…” She said, avoiding his again.<br /><br />“How do you know that I am not the right person for you without actually knowing how it is being with me?” Rakesh asked, with a note of anger in his voice at the stupid reasons she was giving him. <br /><br />“I simply don’t feel the love for you… The feeling you get when you are with him… I’m sorry Rakesh… But… I can’t say anymore…” She said as she collected her bag and books and left him there.<br /><br />Further talks and discussions could yield nothing but a more firm no. <br /><br />Rakesh sat down thinking, “A girl rejected my love because she didn’t feel it. She gave me up to her gut feeling without giving it a thought.”<br /><br />That was when he asked himself the first question for the first time.<br /><br />“Is this love? Is it a gut feeling that assures you that you are with a person with whom you can share relation for a lifetime?”<br /><br />He assured himself that she’ll realize what she gave up in the due course of time.<br /><br />A playful shriek from Ryan brought him back into reality.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-43525075047680222752011-01-30T09:42:00.000-08:002011-01-30T09:44:39.165-08:00The PowercutSujith was on the laptop sprawled across the bed with the music going on full blast through the 5.1 woofer system arranged systematically to produce the most effective reverb effect. His fingers moved like lightning as he operated his two favorite gadgets, the laptop and the cell phone with amazing dexterity. <br /><br />He was juggling three tabs on his laptop each them dedicated to yahoo messenger, orkut, facebook, gtalk and twitter. In the other hand he had his Apple iphone in which he was chatting with three of his friends.<br /><br />Sujith’s father, Rana, was on the phone, debating with his friend about the latest dirty work that happened in their company and the bribes that the boss had to offer to hush up the entire affair. They were blaming the boss for his carelessness and at the same time appreciating the ease with which money could solve all the problems.<br /><br />Sujith’s mother, Shailaja, was busy watching her daily soap opera and was acidly cursing the bad husband who tortured his pregnant wife and the wily aunt who was happy to ruin the mood of anyone who came in her way. She was also crying for the lead lady who kept crying all though the episode for some great tragedy befell her every five episodes.<br /><br />Sujith’s grandfather, Shinde were sitting in drawing hall, reading the newspaper and blaming the government for its inefficient methods of working, pointing out that every politician in the world was corrupt and was suggesting a hundred methods which could be implemented to improve the system.<br /><br />Sujith’s grandmother, Lilavathi sat in another corner of the drawing hall, goading on the landline to another old lady about a hundred things which included, a rich in-laws heavy necklace set, the latest gossip in the family, who is getting married, how much dowry they got/giving and so on.<br /><br />Sujith’s sister, Reshma was in her room, talking to her friend about the latest designer wear in town, the latest love pair in their class, the latest guys who were hitting on them, their merits and demerits.<br /><br />As everyone was in their own orbit, lost in their own world, each blissfully unaware of the other person’s existence, a sudden calamity jolted them out of their world. The power went out in the entire grid, enveloping the entire locality into darkness. At the same time, the cell phone towers went offline, all at once, without any warning. <br /><br />Everyone walked into the main hall, feeling for the walls and searching for the potential obstacles. They were angry with the officials for being so negligent about the basic needs of the people. <br /><br />Rana worked on the landline with a torch in one hand and a stabbing the numbers with the other. He made calls to the local power station to find out what went wrong. They said that some main transformer at some main power station failed and they were making ‘all possible efforts’ to get the power back before midnight.<br /><br />‘Bloody idiots, they said midnight which surely means that they are going to take till next morning.’ Rana growled.<br /><br />‘This is what happens when you have an inefficient government in power.’ Shinde muttered in an undertone.<br /><br />‘But why did the cell phones go down? Both of my SIM’s are not picking up any signal’ said Sujith, shaking his phone and trying different things like changing the settings and switching it on/off several times. <br /><br />‘Now, I have to watch the re-telecast in the morning to find out if Ekta finds out that her husband is cheating on her on not. This is so putting off.’, Groaned Shailaja. <br /><br />As they all settled down in the sofas of the drawing hall, they observed that the room was filled with the bright night sky.<br /><br />‘Hey, did anyone notice? It is a full moon day today’, said Reshma excitedly pointing out into the sky.<br /><br />Everyone turned into the direction of her hand and noticed the full moon shining brightly in the clear January sky.<br /><br />‘Why don’t we take the chairs and sit on the porch?’ Sujith suggested, finally giving up on his cell phone.<br /><br />‘That is a good idea, Sujith will get the chairs and Reshma, you arrange the food that your mother made for snacks.’ suggested Rana.<br /><br />All of them set into motion, setting up chairs, bringing out rugs and blankets which would make them comfortable in the cold night. As the snacks came, everyone settled down in their chairs, munching the delicious food, looking up at the beauty of the sky, basking and soaking in the moon light and for a couple of minutes, lost in awe. <br /><br />‘This reminds me of my childhood’ Shinde remarked, bringing everyone back into the world. <br /><br />‘We used to sit like this in the moonlight and used to play several games which were our modes of entertainment back in the days when we had no television sets, internet or cell phones’ he remarked. <br /><br />‘What kind of games?’ the brother and sister asked, curious.<br /><br />‘Oh, we used to sing songs, play mime and the most interesting game was where we make <br />different animals with shadows. The persons who used to make the most complicated animal shapes were made to compete with each other and the person who made the best moves won the competition.’ Said Shinde, and effortlessly produced the shapes of a hooting fox, a soaring eagle, a grazing cow and a barking dog.<br /><br />Sujith and Reshma, by now very fascinated, abandoned their chairs and jumped to their grandfather’s side, each trying to make their own animal with their grandfather’s guidance.<br /><br />Soon, Sujith’s shadow snake and Reshma’s shadow Eagle were having a raging war on the expansive front wall, complete with the sound effects.<br /><br />Their parents were giving them battle strategies, awarding points for a hit, cheering an intelligent move and booing the bad one. After sometime, the battle was over and everyone was smiling.<br /><br />‘Let’s play something else now.’ Reshma shouted, excited.<br /><br />‘How about we play mime?’ Rana suggested. <br /><br />‘That would work awesome.’ The kids cheered.<br /><br />The father and the kids made one team as the mother and the grandparents made another team. Everyone was cheering and laughing as Lilavathi tried to depict a battle scene to make her team understand the name of an epic movie. <br /><br />The kids roared with laughter as their always serious father tried to imitate the cat walk of the lead lady from a recent film. They fought over the points and argued about the extra time taken by each person to finish the act. <br /><br />As their noise reached peak levels, the curious neighbors started coming out to see what was going on.<br /><br />‘What’s up Rana ji, you seem to have a party going on here.’ Said his neighbor Bhaskar, as he walked into the porch of Rana’s house.<br /><br />‘Oh hello Bhaskar ji, yeah, we are having a little mime competition going on here, why don’t you join in?’ Said Rana, with a big smile. <br /><br />Bhaskar, after watching for some time, caught up with the contagious enthusiasm and joined in with his family and kids, and they were having a whole new competition which reached a fever pitch with a lot of cheering and booing. For that moment, all differences in age were forgotten and everyone was having their share of fun. <br /><br />Soon, they were joined by the other people living nearby and they shifted their picnic spot to the center of the road on their lane. Meantime, the ladies called them for dinner.<br /><br />‘Why go back into the houses? We are having so much fun out here. If all of us put in a little effort we can arrange the dinner here itself.’ Suggested Ali, who was another resident of that locality.<br /><br />Everyone consented to the idea and soon, the next fifteen minutes were filled with wild activity as the ladies got the dishes out, and the children ran inside and outside fixing the necessary items. <br /><br />The dinner was a huge success, with everyone talking, laughing, and hollering at each other’s jokes. The computers, televisions, cell phones and politics were forgotten for those two hours. Everyone present there found happiness in each other’s company.<br /><br />As they were finished the dinner, everyone was talking about locking up the houses and making camp beds in the local park in their lane. The uncles were discussing effective methods to move the stuff into the park when the power came back on and the cell phones got revived. <br /><br />Slowly, the calls started coming in and soon, the people found excuses to exclude themselves from the camping program. Soon, the people were back in their own orbits, doing what they normally do with the full moon night all forgotten in the glow of the electric bulbs.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-10307602110625037642011-01-11T10:51:00.000-08:002011-01-11T10:55:26.601-08:00The face on the inside part I<span style="font-style:italic;">Tuesday 1-1-11 9:30 AM:</span><br /><br />I looked up at the sun, now a brightening golden disc. It took it’s time in the laziness of the winter morning to transform from a cool red to the fiery golden color. I enjoyed this solitude each morning. It gave me time to reflect on the hard work that got me here and the future that lay ahead. Most importantly, it helped me focus on the present for the rest of the day without any distractions. <br /><br />I stood up, stretched and fanned out my vision across my duplex sized office. At 30, having my own business was a dream come true for me. I looked at the brass name plate which read, ‘Phoenix constructions Pvt Ltd.’ the fresh morning sunlight was making it shine. I experienced a proud moment as I looked at my own cabin and name plate which read M.D. and C.E.O. As a construction company, we specialized in acquiring and remodeling the old buildings in the city for the current usage. This we did by either remodeling the building or by destroying the existing building and constructing an altogether new building.<br /><br />The people started to come in at the standard time, 10 AM and the office began filling up. I went back to my desk after greeting everyone when I saw the paper on my table. The file was unmarked which surprised me. Usually the files on old buildings came from rental agencies or other smaller construction companies which owned the existing constructions. We also hired several private agents to keep an eye out for hot deals. This one wasn’t from any of them.<br /><br />I opened the file to find out a map of the town. I found one part in the heart of the town marked in red. <br /><br />Impossible I thought to myself. It was one of the most populated residential localities in town and there was no chance of the existence of any property which was not in use or which was too old to be used anymore. I was starting to suspect a prank and was about to close the file when I flipped to the second page of the file. This page gave a more detailed picture of the pin pointed location. This map showed a small, thick woodland which marked the boundary of the locality and the start of the hill range. I became more interested and looked in more carefully. This particular place was in the midst of a particularly thick part of the wood. But I did not know that such a property existed. I called in one of my private agents to find out if there was such a property for real. I gave him the details and he promised to get back to me within the hour.<br /><br />The next page of the file contained pictures of the property. The pictures were obviously developed from a very old film and were not taken within the past ten years. The black and white photograph showed two buildings, obviously residential buildings spread over an area of 1500 sq ft which was given in the previous map. If true, and if I could lay my hands on the property, I would become the richest builder overnight by just selling the site given its land value. The next page gave me an address in London which said the location of the current owner. The page ended with a line which said,<br /><br />“<span style="font-style:italic;">Existing site with building is ready for sale. Contact the owner ASAP</span>”, it said. <br /><br />I was wondering why the person could possibly wait for so long to find a deal for the site when my agent called me back.<br /><br />“So, did you find out about the current status? Are you sure that it is still open for sale?” I asked, my words falling into an irregular prattle with the excitement.<br /><br />“Yes sir, I have positive information that the site is unused and is open for sale. The owner lives somewhere in Europe and interested people have no idea on whom to contact.” He said.<br /><br />“They don’t have the address of the owner? Strange.” I said as I looked at the address in front of me.<br /><br />“Yes sir, and more over the municipality is planning on seizing the land since it has been unused for many years and the owner is nowhere to be traced. They’re planning to announce an open auction in a week.” He said. <br /><br />“We have to get our hands on it before anyone else does.” I said, firmly.<br /><br />“How sir?” he asked.<br /><br />“Leave that to me. But, in the meantime find out what other information you can gather about this strange plot.” I said and cut the line.<br /><br />As I was about to make a call to the phone number given with the address, another sheet of paper which I hadn’t noticed till then fell out of the folder.<br /><br />“<span style="font-weight:bold;">Great things in life come with great risks…<br />Fortune favors only the brave but no one…<br />Before you step in and make contact, make sure you are bold…<br />For there is going back once you take hold…</span>”<br /><br />The words were cut out from newspapers with each piece of paper in a different shade of brown which indicated the age of each cut piece of paper.<br /><br />I was looking at the strange verse in my hand when my cell phone rang. The display showed an unlisted number. As I picked up the call with a small shiver, the cheerful old male voice on the other end said,<br /><br />“Up for the deal young man?”Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-60012834815835336622010-10-18T22:31:00.000-07:002010-10-18T22:33:58.732-07:00Festivals and celebrations! Part IV<span style="font-style:italic;">Chapter three<br />Date- Present day<br />Location- Hotel Park Inn, Berlin</span><br /><br />I managed to get myself out of bed. Was there anything that I could do to get all that happiness back into my life? Will that color, joy and innocence come back ever again I thought. I managed to pick up the phone and made a call, home.<br /><br />“Hey Amma, Happy Dusshera.” I managed to croak. It felt like there was a huge lump in my throat not letting me speak. <br /><br />“Happy Dusshera to you too Kanna, what happened? You sound dull. Everything fine back there?” She asked with a note of panic in her voice.<br /><br />“No Amma, I’m good, just woke up after a tiresome day. Feeling lazy, that’s it, missing home.” I said. Only mothers have the power to gauge your mood from a single word that you utter. <br /><br />“Is it just that, or is there anything else that is bothering you?” She asked; the note of panic now replaced with a note of anxiety mingled with curiosity. <br /><br />“I was just, lying in bed, thinking about how we used to celebrate the festival at home, how we visited our Kanaka Durga temple once. When I remembered all that, I just felt a little… Lost… Like I was missing out the happiness and pleasure of having a family to celebrate a festival with.<br /><br />“I can understand how you feel son. It’s been three years since you came here for any festival. It’s hard to go on alone in life. You need people to share emotions with. Goals are important in life but, in order to achieve it, you must never let go of family, friends and the joy of being together in celebration.” She said. Always the wise words, I thought.<br /><br />“Yes Amma, it took me this long to understand that. Now, I realize how much I’ve missed out in the process of chasing down targets in life. This will be an eye opener for me.” I said.<br /><br />“I’m glad you realize that now. People, happiness and the sense of pleasure that you experience in the company of others is what gives festivals that air of magic. The sense of tranquility that you experience when you worship a force superior to you, makes the experience more complete and fulfilling. See if you can create that magic.” She said.<br /><br />“I understand what you said Amma. I’ll try to create the magic you’ve mentioned. Thanks for making me feel so much better.” I said and cut off the phone, as a flood of new energy hit me like a tsunami wave striking the beach. <br />I strode into the hall and picked up the phone and called room service. <br /><br />“Guten Morgen, Ich brauche ein Telefonbuch.” I said.<br /><br />“Sie finden es in einer Minute, Sir.” The cheerful voice on the other end replied.<br /><br />“Vielen Dank”, I said and put down the phone. <br /><br />I picked up my phone and typed out a message to all of my friends. It went like this,<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Hey guys,<br />Today is a very important day. I guess most of you don’t remember why, but today we are going to celebrate. Celebrate together; celebrate the victory of good over evil. May sound a little crazy but I want all of you in my hotel by 10 AM sharp. All of you must dress in Indian clothes, the best you can find. You’ll miss out on an event if you don’t come, I promise.”</span><br /><br />As I pressed the sent button, it started reaching the inboxes of more than 25 Indians, most of them my friends from graduation. Most of them were worried about my state of mind, but nevertheless, they were curious to find out the reason and agreed on coming.<br /><br />In the meanwhile, room service got me the telephone directory that I requested for. I started browsing though, looking for the right telephone numbers. I found them soon enough and I started calling them.<br /><br />“Yes, I need that photo, the biggest one you have. I also need the necessary things that we may require. Send in a priest if you can find one. Nine AM sharp, Hotel Park Inn.”<br /><br />“Yes, a lunch for twenty five people. The best Indian dishes that you can find. I need them here by twelve PM sharp, Hotel Park Inn. “<br /><br />Next, I was on the internet, looking for some information. Google proved as efficient as ever, giving me all the information that I needed. I was fishing out print outs. Now, I had all that I needed.<br /><br />I looked at my wrist watch. It was eight thirty. I called in room service again and asked them to book the “Festsaal (Banquet hall)” that could accommodate some fifty people. I went inside the bathroom, took a shower and dressed myself in the “Kurta Pyjama” which has been lying at the bottom of my suitcase for such a long time now.<br />The things that I ordered came in by nine and the priest who came in wanted to know if it was a marriage or an engagement that he needed to perform. When I told him what I wanted, he was shocked and surprised.<br /><br />“After all these years that I’ve lived in Berlin, this is the first time anyone has asked me to perform Durga Puja. I’ll do it with pleasure son. This is a very happy day for me.” He said, voice mixed with emotion and happiness.<br /><br />People started pouring in at ten, All of them looking a little skeptical about what was on offer. As they saw the festive decoration, the priest and the huge portrait of Durga mata seated majestically on her tiger, they were shocked. As all of them settled down on the huge carpets on the floor, I went up and addressed my friends.<br /><br />“Hey guys, as most of you don’t remember, I am going to remind you why this day is significant and what all of this is about. Today is Vijaya Dasami. The final day of the festival we celebrate as Navaratri. This day, we celebrate the victory of good over evil. This very day, Goddess Durga killed the demon king Mahishasura, bringing in peace and prosperity to the people of the world.”<br /><br />As I was speaking, I was able to hear groans of recollection as it hit people. Everyone knew, but no one remembered.<br /><br />“So today, we offer prayers to the great mother as a tribute to what she has done for us. We join in celebration, celebrating the victory of good over evil and the end of darkness that prevailed when evil reigns over the world.” I continued and took a pause.<br /><br />Everyone was listening to me with rapt attention, hanging onto every word that I said.<br /><br />“What does it mean today? Why did I call you here? I’ll explain. I woke up this morning to a message from my mom reminding me that today was a festival that was worth remembering. This reminder of hers sent me into a flood of memories that I had when I was younger, the joy and happiness associated with the celebration of festivals. I’m sure many of you must’ve had similar happy times with your families.”<br /><br />I found many people lost in reflections and memories just like me when the news hit me. I found many people nodding their heads in consent.<br /><br />“But, where has the spirit of celebration gone? Where has all the enthusiasm and reverence gone? What happened? We got so lost in building our careers and making a name for ourselves, we just ignored all these little things that gave us happiness and peace of mind. Today, when I realized all that we’ve missed over the last few years, I wanted to make up. I wanted to get that spirit of celebration back into our hearts. That is why we are here today. To celebrate our happiness, to worship the almighty in whose shadow we live. To pay tribute to the force that controls everything beyond our power.” I said, feeling emotional and charged as I ended my diatribe.<br /><br />Everyone was silent for a long time as I handed them the sheets that had English translations of the mantras we had to chant in the course of the puja. The next hour, the room was filled with an air of holiness as everyone chanted the name of the god with a vigor and respect. The next hour was spent in listening to the stories of the goddess that every one of us had long forgotten. As everyone applied tikkas on their forehead and ate the holy Prasadam, the lunch arrived, there we were, one happy family. Everyone was smiling with content, serving food to one another, exchanging jokes and laughing together.<br /><br />I looked out of the window at the busy Germans running around trying to catch up with the hectic life of today. I smiled to myself and muttered,<br /><br />“Ich habe die Magie ( I created the magic), thanks mom”Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-39124785864016840512010-10-16T11:34:00.000-07:002010-10-16T11:36:14.028-07:00Festivals and celebrations! Part III<span style="font-style:italic;">Chapter two<br />Date- 17th October.<br />Location- Kanaka Durga temple, Indrakeeladri hill- Vijayawada.</span><br /><br />I was trying to maintain my balance as a hundred people propelled their bodies forward as the queue moved on inside the temple complex. We were fortunate enough to get a chance to visit the holy temple this festival. With some help from dad’s colleagues in office, we were able to secure special passes for the darshan. That did not help much as some of the most important people in the state craned their necks and tried to stand on their toes just to get a glimpse of the holy mother. <br /><br />So, why is this temple so famous? Why do so many people come here when there are so many other temples?” I asked dad, as we waited for a VIP to finish his special pooja.<br /><br />Dad adjusted his voice and started telling me the history of the temple.<br /><br />“Once upon a time, demons and humans lived together on the earth. It is said that the growing menace of demons became unbearable for the humans. A sage named, Indrakila practiced severe penance, invoked Goddess Durga. When the goddess appeared the sage pleaded her to reside on his head and keep vigil on the wicked demons. Goddess Durga agreed and made Indrakila her permanent abode. Later, She also slayed the demon king Mahishasura freeing the people from his evil. To celebrate the victory of Goddess Durga over the demon king Mahishasura and to worship the goddess, the temple was built and the ten day celebration, “Navaratri” originated.” My dad narrated as we moved further into the temple complex.<br /><br />“What form is the goddess adorned in today?” Someone enquired my dad.<br /><br />“Since it is the final day of the Navaratri, she will be taking the form of Sri Raja Rajeswari Devi.” My dad told him, as I looked enquiringly at him. <br /><br />My dad started to explain what the form was all about.<br /><br />“Sri Kanaka Durga Devi, the chief deity of the temple is portrayed as blessing the visiting devotees in various forms (avatars) during the ten day festival. A symbolic representation of the 10 forms of triumph of good over evil, this form (known as 'Alankaram') of the day is chosen as per the astrological star of each day, in accordance with the lunar calendar. The goddess takes on the forms of, Sri Swarna Kavachalakruta Durga Devi, Sri Bala Tripura Sundari Devi, Sri Annapurna Devi, Sri Gayatri Devi, Sri Lalitha Tripura Sundari Devi, Sri Saraswathi Devi, Sri Maha Lakshmi Devi, Sri Durga Devi, Sri Mahishasura Mardhani Devi and Sri Raja Rajeswari Devi during the course of the festival.” My dad told me.<br /><br />I was wondering in awe at the richness of the history that created this place where I was standing now. We made it to the final part of the temple called the “Garbha gudi” where the main deity was kept. We were able to see the goddess for a very short span of time as the people pushed on. But the picture of the goddess froze in my mind in a picture perfect frame. A picture of tranquility and generosity showed on her beautiful face adorned with turmeric and fresh flowers. She was holding a sugarcane stick in one hand, the goddess who bestowed prosperity. <br /><br />We came out of the temple and sat in the huge porch of the temple strewn with herds of people moving about busily trying to get into the temple. My dad got the Prasadam that we happily ate. The whole visit made me realize how people can be brought together in the name of festivals and celebrations. Everyone looked happy and radiant.<br /><br />The drive down the hill was very pleasant with the huge flood lights reflecting in the rippling waters of the river Krishna. The devotees marched down the temple in huge groups as a ritual to please the holy mother and to wash off their sins. They sing songs in praise of the holy mother as we add chorus to the fervent chanting’s. <br /><br />The rippling waves of the river Krishna and the chanting’s of goddess Durga fade away, as I find myself on the bed again, homesick and fed up with my current life. I have to do something to get myself out of this misery, I thought to myself.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-80966236831088734052010-10-16T10:25:00.000-07:002010-10-16T10:28:02.248-07:00Festivals and celebrations! Part II<span style="font-style:italic;">Chapter one- <br />Date: 13th October.<br />Location: Home Sweet home, The city of destiny- Visakhapatnam. </span><br /><br />“Harsha, wake up kanna. It’s nine already. You have to get ready for the Saraswathi pooja.” My mom insisted, trying to pull the blanket off me.<br /><br />“Amma, Let me sleep for ten more minutes.” I retort as I try to pull the blanket back on.<br /><br />“You are waking up. And I know how to do it.” She mutters to herself as she goes and switches off the fan.<br /><br />I twist and turn, groan and moan and finally accept defeat as I get myself off the bed. I take some twenty minutes to the bathroom where my mom has the special head bath that I dreaded all my life. <br /><br />First, she applies the preparation known as “Nalugu”. A semi solid mixture of Chickpeas and turmeric mixed in water. <br /><br />“Why do you apply this to me? What good does it do?” I enquire mom as she continues to rub the paste hard on my body.<br /><br />“This is a natural form of beauty maintenance which was used before any of these fairness creams or beauty soaps were invented. The chickpea paste acts as a cleansing agent which removes all the dead cells of the skin and the also gives a radiant glow to the skin. The turmeric acts an anti-septic which prevents fungal and bacterial infections.” She continues to explain like an erudite scholar. <br /><br />“Oh, this yellow paste does this much of good?” I wonder as I try to visualize myself like a tiger with all the yellow paste. <br /><br />“Now sit here like a good boy till the paste dries off.” She says and goes to the kitchen. <br /><br />I sit there in the bathroom making moves like a tiger till the paste becomes super hard and it becomes difficult for me to move my jaws.<br /><br />“Amma, it’s dried now. Can we wash it off now?” I manage to scream though the unmoving jaws.<br /><br />“Wait, I’m getting the Soap nut. I’ll be there in a minute.” She screams back. <br />The mention of the word soap nut evaporates my happy mood. <br /><br />My mom makes a reappearance as she mixes the soap nut in the hot water producing lather and a bitter smell that sends chills though my bones. I sit there, on the wooden stool, in a towel, rigid, too scared to move. <br /><br />“Close your eyes.” My mom orders me.<br /><br />I shut my eye lids as tight as humanly possible as she applies oil and starts to put the soap nut on my head. The bitter smell mixed with the touch of hot water on my scalp make me dizzy. I get through the ordeal without any of the bitter acid like juice of the soap nut getting into my eyes or mouth. <br /><br />The next part feels heavenly as she washes off the paste and the soap nut juice with warm water. I step out of the bathroom feeling clean and handsome. I put on my new clothes and go into the family room where my sister, dressed in the traditional “Parikini Voney” comes running and gives me an affectionate kiss. <br /><br />“You look great Annayya.” She says.<br /><br />“You look great yourself sis.” I say, as we give each other a hi-five.<br /><br />“Kids, get your books, we have to do the Saraswathi pooja.” My grandmother calls out from the Prayer hall of the house. <br /><br />I select the Maths and the English text books, the subjects that I’m not good at school, hoping that goddess Saraswathi could help me a bit with my scores.<br />We sit in the prayer hall cross legged with our eyes closed and hands in a Namaste stance as we worship the names of the goddess in different languages asking her to bestow wisdom, strength of mind and character upon us. <br /><br />It takes us about an hour to run though the pooja and we happily hop into the dining hall savoring the smell of the various special dishes that mom had prepared for the lunch. Some of our close relatives join us for dinner as we talk, chat and reflect on various things that are happening in our lives.<br /><br />I and my cousins discuss the latest episodes of Swat Kats, bemused and stupefied at the heroics of T-bone and Razor, and how they manage to save Megakat city from the clutches of the wicked Dark Kat. The elders discuss current politics with the aunts sharing animated descriptions of the latest gossip and exchange information about new jewelry that they’ve purchased for the festival. It is all one happy family celebrating the festival that binds us together like an invisible chord. <br /><br />The evening is a blur of color as dad takes us out to see the various Durga mata idols set up in the city. I and my sister stare in awe at the imposing idols of the goddess with ten hands, a different weapon in each, seated majestically on a tiger with the head of the daemon Mahishasura in her hand. People throng to see the idols as we wait to get the “Prasadam” from the priests offering special prayers. We return home late in the night to be treated to another sumptuous meal with the seasonal fruits to add to the delicious dishes prepared by mom. <br /><br />I find my way out of the memory and find myself staring at the breakfast of scrambled eggs and bread going cold along with the coffee. A tear drops from my cheek as the memories of those happy moments unleash themselves on me. I was missing my family, friends and the joy.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-63799340598578997762010-10-16T09:12:00.000-07:002010-10-16T09:17:11.573-07:00Festivals and celebrations! Part II was a dragon with huge wings flying into space. My speed was blinding and the surroundings were dimming away into a passing blur.<br /> <br />“Are we there yet?” I found myself asking the voice inside me.<br /><br />“No, we are still one strata away from reaching the top most layer of the earth” the voice said.<br /><br />“Did we not beat the best already? I’m getting a little tired now, I’m missing my family, and I’m missing the pleasures of my planet. Don’t you think we should go back?” I heard myself imploring the voice inside me. <br /><br />“You are yet to become the best. You become the best only when you reach the highest peak. Relative victory is nothing. You’ve worked for five years now, what is one more year. Push yourself, more. You are just a whisker away from being unbeatable.” The voice was encouraging and commanding at the same time.<br /><br />I saw the target I had to reach, the luring idea of becoming the best makes me ignore the pain building up in my joints. I spread my wings out completely and give it a bigger heave. <br /><br />All of a sudden something in my wing bone goes snap and I see myself plummeting down into the vast emptiness beneath me. <br /><br />“Help me. Please help me.” I call out to the voice.<br /><br />“You have not achieved the ultimate success. You deserve this, <span style="font-weight:bold;">DIE</span>!” the voice says as it fades away.<br /><br />I wake up with a start only to find myself in my king sized bed with my forehead breaking into a cold sweat. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />“You are Rajiv; you are in Berlin on a work related assignment. You are still alive and that was a bad dream.”</span> I mutter to myself. That makes me feel better as I survey the surroundings. <br /><br />My job brought me to Berlin to deal with a supplier the prices of the equipment we needed for an upcoming project of ours. The operation of the equipment needed some extensive training and there I was in Park Inn Berlin-Alexanderplatz. The full glass windows with the curtains drawn out showed me a panoramic view of the beautiful city bathed in the dim light of the morning sun. I was staring into the landscape enjoying the emptiness in my head when a tower with a pointed edge with the rounded part in the upper quarter catches my attention. It sends an uncanny signal to my brain suggesting that today was something I should remember as important. I reflect for a moment, as nothing comes to my head.<br /><br />I shrug the thoughts aside and look at myself in the mirror. I see myself, a disheveled man in his early thirties, still slim and well-built with a mop of curly hair that came close to my eyes. The stubble that used to give me an air of youth in my twenties looked ominous now. The random strands of white hair here and there didn’t help things much.<br /><br />I hear my phone buzz with the missed calls and messages that I received over the last night. I sit back in bed, cross legged and open the first message from office. I breathe a sigh of relief was I read the contents. The message was from my friend.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“The transformer at the factory got fried last night due to an electric short circuit. It’ll take them a while to get the systems running again. We have a day off man. Give me a call when you wake up. We’ll go out and check what the city offers us today.”</span><br /><br />The message was followed by the trademark wink, which makes a smile spread on my face. I read the rest which are work related details. I read the next which makes me remember what I was trying to recollect earlier. The message was from my mom. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Son, today is Dusshera. I hope you remember the festival. I know you are busy in Berlin with your assignment. But take some time off and worship goddess Durga and seek her blessings. You’ll be amazed at the amount of satisfaction and mental relief you discover from it. Love, Mom.”</span><br /><br />The message strikes a box of memories which opens up instantaneously sending me into a recollection of memories. They wash over me like a deluge as I go back into my childhood.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-14552115869408242762010-09-26T10:46:00.000-07:002010-09-26T10:55:52.992-07:00Lost in the night!On this full moon night,<br />I sit in this abyss lit only with her silver light.<br /><br />As I let my mind go blithe,<br />I reflect on the lessons my past thought me,<br />I evaluate the challenges the present puts before me,<br />I try to assess the challenges the future would present me.<br /><br />I think of the people who made a difference to my life,<br />I think of the people who left my life.<br /><br />As I try to garner and collate my thoughts,<br />I only realize that my reflections are a garbled mess.<br /><br />I look up into her silver light,<br />Take in the cold air of the night,<br />Forget everything about my current plight.<br /><br />I let the feeling wash over my head,<br />Wash away the labyrinth of thoughts swarming in my head.<br /><br />I end up staring stupidly into the night,<br />Just another person lost in the abyss of the full moon night.<br />:)Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-39621539964266450662010-09-06T04:22:00.000-07:002010-09-06T04:37:02.838-07:00Meetings and memories..Some great philosopher once said, “You are born alone, you meet a lot of people as you grow older and finally you leave the world as alone as you’ve come.” <br />It’s strange how people come into your life, make an irreversible mark in your heart, make you go through a labyrinth of feelings that leave you dazed and amazed.Finally, they leave as suddenly as they come.<br /><br />Time does strange things to relationships. Their beginnings are much unexpected. You bump into a complete stranger who never had any previous influence on your mind and life. Curiosity in some form drives you to them and you start developing a bond with them. <br /><br />Every relationship starts off pretty much on the same foot. A little bit of inhibition, a little bit of apprehension and a little bit of formality and a high dose of good manners. As it starts to build, inhibitions are shed off, apprehensions are forgotten and the doses of good manners are replaced by jokes and backslapping. You become so emotionally attached to the person that life would seem bleak and lonely without a day’s meeting and the share of smiles. You believe that the other person feels the same about you and you believe in it.<br /><br />As easy as it is to build a relationship, one small incident is all that it takes to reverse the entire process of building it. It makes you wonder, <br /><br />“Is it the same person I knew a few years before?”<br /><br />“Where has all the magic gone?”<br /><br />“Where were those smiles that we shared and all the wonderful feelings that we felt?”<br /><br />Then comes an awkward phase where the people accuse each other for spoiling a wonderful past that cannot be recreated. They get so busy analyzing what they had lost that they forget what they have to look forward to. They dig in so deep that they forget that there can be a path which can lead them back to that previous wonderland where they were blissfully happy.<br /><br />When, at last they realize that there was a way that they hadn’t discovered, they realize that it was too late. By then their paths have forked and taken turns which would never make them meet ever again. Again, it leaves you wondering, <span style="font-style:italic;">is everything ephemeral in this human lifetime? </span>Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-62702483844933348352010-08-15T10:30:00.000-07:002010-08-15T10:32:04.541-07:00Wishes for a wonderful personLife is a wonderful journey. You meet people, you make friends, you share some memorable moments with them, at some point of time you part with them and then slowly you lose touch with them. But some people create an impact on your life. They become such an integral part that, when you lose touch with them, life appears to be like a jigsaw puzzle with one vital center piece missing. Today, this post is dedicated to one such person, who will stay in my heart forever.<br /><br />Three years back when I saw her for the first time, my impressions were negative. She looked to me like a haughty and arrogant girl who assumed too much about herself. It was by mere chance that I started taking to Rishita Allika. We were in the bus and we just shared an opinion about a topic. There began a friendship that would eventually change my opinion about her, and in addition gave me a wonderful friend, a sister, with whom, though not related by blood I share the same warmth and affection.<br /><br />The thing about this girl is that, you need to know her before you can start noticing her good qualities. I can never forget how she wrote all my notes for two weeks in the third semester when I was suffering with chicken pox. I owe her my mid marks in Probability, which she very patiently thought me. One thing that I can never put in proper words is the emotional support she gave me in tough times.<br /><br />One more thing that you can’t help but find amusing are her gestures and facial expressions. Narrate a story with creepy houses and emaciated old women; you will be surprised with her reaction. You may eve muse to yourself, “Now, was it really that scary?” Give her a reason to get excited, you’ll find the voices of the others disappearing into the background. Her opinions about people and her ideas are always interesting to know. :)<br /><br />Chellemma, you are a very special person. For all the J bus journeys, for all the telephone conversations, for all the yahoo chit chatting, for the meetings, for all the joys that we shared and for all the sorrows that we shared, I love you and I can never forget you forever. <br /><br />On your 20th birthday, I wish you have a wonderful birthday and more wonderful moments to come in your life. I wish you cut a hundred cakes made of everlasting happiness topped with everlasting health and wealth with a candle of success that cannot be extinguished by wind or by time. <br /><br />Lots of love,<br />Harsha :)Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-70511878672838435502010-04-08T11:34:00.000-07:002010-04-08T11:37:43.209-07:00What is it? Part 4One very intelligent heartbroken person quoted that, our brain contains a box of compressed crappy memories. Each time you see a person or something that reminds you of that crappy memory, an entire chain of interconnected incidents come back into you head and you feel nothing but miserable. <br /><br />I carefully nursed the left arm on which I landed on the floor. The dream was a bad one, a crappy one to be more precise. I thought time and age would make me see the funny part of my love for Sanjana. But that never really happened. Three years post all that I still felt bad and I still felt angry for her stupidity. I scratched my head and tried to get back into the present. I focused on my surroundings. <br /><br />Everything was in place. I stood up carefully and walked to the point where I last remembered standing. I spotted a part of the carpet jutting out of its fixture. It looked dangerous, the reason for my slipping. I saw a little mark of blood on the pedestal on which the big oak bed was mounted. I looked at my own reflection in the mirror and spotted a little mark of clotted blood. <br /><br />“Nasty hit!” I thought to myself. <br /><br />I was not feeling good. My head felt messed up and giddy. My reinitiated thoughts were not helping me much. I was still not convinced if the voice was my imagination. It felt so real, so enthusiastic, the restless tone, it was deliberate for sure. What if the voice was normal? It would sound like someone, a voice I heard recently. <br /><br />“Oye Sanju! Come fast ya. . . I’m getting late.” Maggie was screaming. Her voice sounded breathless.<br /><br />“Come fast . . . Come fast . . . Come fast . . .”<br /><br />Why the hell was she getting so restless? The sound of her voice gave me chills. It sounded inhuman. It sounded like that . . . <br /><br />Before I could place my thoughts, I saw a parade of ants on the carpet. They were marching in two perfect sets. I had a sudden urge to locate the start of the line and the end of the line. I retraced the line backwards to locate a half eaten Snickers bar lying on the floor. Yesterday night, I was eating; I put this in my pocket and climbed up the steps. I forgot all about it. It must have fallen off when I made my great fall I thought. I picked it up and put it in the dustbin. I saw the line still marching in its two perfect sets. I wanted to test the little guys and I created a little confusion by disturbing the line in the center. The little guys ran helter-skelter for a while but soon they were back in their perfect sets, marching placidly towards their destination. Their march proceeded up the wall and went behind one of the oak panels. I moved the panel aside to spot the little hole into which the ants were diverging in. It was not the ant hole but the object beside the hole that caught my attention. A little speaker and a microphone caught my attention. From my Air force training I could guess that they were high capacity receivers and transmitters. <br />Why did Anita aunty get these things installed? And moreover, why here? I sat on the bed and stretched out my left hand. The panel was within hands reach. I was wondering where it led to when the loud ringing of the door bell started me. I walked out of the room carefully and sprinted all the way to the door jumping two steps at a time. Maggie was at the door.<br /><br />“Hey man! Had a nice nap? God! You look totally messed up. What’s that patch below your hair? Is that blood?” Her voice increased a note higher and her eye brows ached up as she tried to lift up my tousled hair to look at my injured head.<br /><br />“It’s nothing Maggie, just a small scratch, tripped over the carpet yesterday night. I’m fine now, don’t get all worked up about it, Anyway what ‘s up?” I said trying to distract her attention from the patch of dried blood on my head.<br /><br />“Are you sure it’s okay? It looks quite nasty. Actually I was wondering if you could give me a lift till the next bus stop. I know it’s quite some distance but my damned Scooty got screwed. And I’m so late for work.” She said.<br /><br />“No it’s quite alright now, and yes I can give you a lift. Wait up.” I said and went <br />inside to fetch my bike keys.<br /><br />“I thought you and Sanju worked in the same company.” I said, taking in a lung full of fresh air.<br /><br />“Yeah, but different in shifts though. The company provides a car for the people who work in the night shift. Sanju is a part of that team.” Maggie answered.<br /><br />“Oh. . . “I said as her face came into my head.<br /><br />“She keeps telling me about you. I must’ve listened to your college story like a <br />thousand times you know. Sanju is a little idiot when it comes to relationships. <br />It’s almost like she enjoys the pain of being separated from the person she loves.” Maggie said, her voice transacting into sadness with each word.<br /><br />“I don’t know. I always tried to understand her, failing miserably each time.” I told Maggie. The topic made my heart as heavy as a stone of lead; I hoped my voice sounded normal and emotionless. <br /><br />“Sanju’s parents brought up some really good matches for her you know. Highly qualified guys, rich and well settled. She rejected each one of them.” Maggie was saying.<br /><br />“What is she looking for, man? Is she still stuck with that “person-I-cannot-live-without”, shit? She should get real. It’s simply not going to happen with her. She’ll remain unmarried for the rest of her life.” I said my voice heavy with sarcasm. I wished she was married to a fat dude with some three painful kids, so that I didn’t feel this little hope inside. I accelerated in disgust.<br /><br />“You know, she asked one of the guys to write a poem for her. A PhD from IIT, he was shocked and said he couldn’t write. Sanju then gave him an imaginary situation where he had to propose to her. You know what he said?” Her voice began to break as she tried to control a surge of laughter. <br /><br />“What?” I really wanted to have a good laugh myself.<br /><br />“Okay. . . He went like, Sanjana; I’m so and so from IIT Delhi, employed in so and so company earning so and so income per year. I have everything you need for a comfortable life. Will you marry me?” Her voice transformed itself into a fully fledged roar of laughter. <br /><br />“It was really practical of the guy you know. What else do you expect from arranged marriages? You expect romantic shit from a person who knew that you existed three months ago, heard your voice one month ago, seen your face ten minutes ago? You got to get real Maggie. When you don’t have the guts to accept the feelings you have for someone. Adjust with whatever you have in life.” My voice became loud as agitation mingled with frustration. <br /><br />Maggie who had sobered down by then let out a big sigh and said, “She regrets it Neeraj. She regrets not having you in her life.”<br /><br />My stomach gave an uneasy jolt as Maggie’s sentence registered in my head. Why did she even remember me? Was I not a dark shadow of her past? Wait, she regrets it? That tone of voice—why did it sound familiar?<br /><br />“I’ll get down here.” Maggie’s words broke my train of thought and I braked.<br /><br />“Make your presence felt Neeraj. She was so stupidly happy when she saw you last night. She doesn’t know how to articulate it. She was confused and is still confused about her feelings to you. But she likes you, this much I can tell you.” Maggie said as she got down from the bike.<br /><br />“Why should I still care for her? She turned me down years ago.” I questioned Maggie. <br /><br />She turned around, gave me a little smile and said, “You will. . . Because no matter whatever you say, you still love her”<br />She turned around and started whispering, “She loves you. . . She loves you. . . She loves you. . .”<br /><br />I felt an uncontrollable urge to see Sanjana. I turned my bike around and reached her place.I was worried when she didn’t answer the door for ten minutes. Finding it open I pushed it open slowly and peeped inside the house.<br /><br />Sanju was curled into a ball on one of the bean bags and was weeping with the phone in her lap.<br /><br />Something was really wrong, really wrong.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-69536252948723947302010-03-05T06:08:00.000-08:002010-03-05T06:12:38.568-08:00What is it? Part IIII was a shadow now, travelling though a vortex of emptiness. Is this death? My entire body felt weightless and empty. My heart didn’t seem to beat anymore. I was rather hollow; I was a shadow I remembered. The figure that I saw right before I died was floating right in front of me. I felt a sudden urge to go see what it was. I tried to steer myself forward with greater speed my hands spread out in front of me to catch the fleeting black shadow that killed me. Slowly and steadily, I reached the shadow and touched its side. I felt an electric shock that shook my feeble system. The scene changed abruptly. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Wish you many happy returns of the day. . . I hope you have a wonderful life :)</span><br /><br />I wished her at exactly 12.00 AM in the night. I was not expecting her to be awake and I was not expecting a reply even if she was awake. I was about to doze off, when my phone vibrated the sleep out of me. The name of the birthday girl on my screen took me by surprise. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Thanks a ton! Btw, why are you so invisible these days? You hardly come to college. . .</span> She replied.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Actually, I’m busy with a few projects and I had this little accident also, so taking rest . . . :)</span> I said<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Why are you so careless? And why the hell didnt you tell me?</span> She was pissed. <br /><br />You don’t go around telling people that you had an accident I thought to myself. I wanted to change the topic. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />I’m going to throw you a surprise tomorrow morning. . . I’m hoping that you’d like it. . . </span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />You are giving it. . . So I will surely like it. . . But come only if you are feeling alright!</span><br /><br />After exchanging the ritualistic good nights and sweet dreams, I went and saw the gift I made for her. The cover felt a little clumsy but I liked it. ‘You, me and our memories’ it read. After all, it is the love with which you give it that matters, I thought.<br /><br />I was about to doze off when this thought entered my head. Did I do all this just for a girl who was my friend? Did I want her to be with me throughout my life? What was I expecting from her? The thought that I wouldn’t be seeing her pinched my heart. For the first time in my life, I felt that I would be missing someone if I parted from them. <br /><br />I shifted uneasily in my bed as the thought process continued. What about the promise I made to her? Did I not promise her that I would be only friends with her forever? How could I betray her trust in me? How could I fool my own feelings for her? <br /><br />Question kept popping up in my head, questions for which I was not able to find a solution. The night’s sleep was filled with confused thoughts and jumbled visions of the future.<br />“Go home and see it. Don’t open it here. “I told her.<br /><br />“Hmm. . . I wonder what this box contains. . .” I looked at her face as she revolved the present which was wrapped up in a square box. Her eyes deep eyes sparkled with excitement as she pressed her lips together in concentration.<br /><br />“You’ll find out dude, why so excited. But this is like extremely personal. You should make sure that no one else gets to see this.”<br /><br />“Of course, right then! I will get going then.” She carefully put the box in her bag and walked off. <br /><br />“You are fooling yourself. You are in love with her. If you don’t express it, you will regret letting her go for the rest of your life.” A voice inside my head warned me. <br /><br />“But I promised her. I don’t want to hurt her and become a problem for her to face” I questioned back.<br /><br />“Is your promise to her worth your love?” The voice shot back at me.<br /><br />“No!” My heart said in reflex. I didn’t want to lose her.<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Your gift is simply the best gift I ever received in my entire life. Thank you so much. I cannot tell you how much I liked it. I’m so glad I found a friend like you. I get scared sometimes. . </span>. <br /><br />“You are misleading her. You are masking your real feelings.” My stomach twisted with a pang of guilt as I saw her message that night. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Glad that you liked it, but why are you scared? Scared for what?</span> I replied, still feeling guilty.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">It’s just that I keep losing my best friends, Im very unlucky when it comes to friends. . . I dont want to lose you Neeraj</span><br /><br />That’s the end I thought. I couldn’t mislead her anymore. I couldn’t break her trust in me. I decided to kill my feelings. I started avoiding her from that day onwards. I didn’t talk to her in college and took a different route home. It was killing me, not seeing her smile, not staring into the depths of her eyes. But I was ready to do whatever it took not to break my promise.<br /><br />“Hello! Do you remember me? Why are you not talking to me? What’s wrong with you?” Sanjana was at my place one day after college. We were talking on our terrace. <br /><br />“If I told you the reason, you wouldn’t like it.” I replied.<br /><br />“What the hell? Tell me the reason” She screamed.<br /><br />“I love you Sanjana. I’m crazy about you. It’s just that I didn’t know what to do after I realised this. I never figured out if I should break my promise by telling you how I felt or if I should break my own heart by acting like a friend. So, I tried escaping from you. But today, since you asked me why, here I am. . . Sanjana, no matter what I promised, my heart yearns for you. You make my life beautiful. I want to live with you, grow old with you and die with you. I love you!” <br /><br />She looked startled. She retraced a few steps. Her voice started quivering as she tried to say something.<br /><br />“Stop it Neeraj, you can’t do this to me. You promised me. . . This changes everything. . . “ She ran off leaving me as the loser who finally broke his promise. <br /><br />“I cannot love you. For me, love is when you think that you cannot live without that person.” She told me two days after that.<br /><br />“There will never come a point in live where you cannot live without someone. God gave us this wonderful gift of forgetting the bad things that happen in our life. We are designed to live, not to die when someone we love dies.” I said.<br /><br />“I don’t know. . . I will go to those extremes maybe. . . I don’t know. . . “She said.<br /><br />“I respect your feelings. If that is what you think about love, I respect your opinions. I’ll never bother you again. But someday I hope that you realise your concept about people and relationships is wrong. Life is always an optimisation. Genuine love is not about life or death with someone, it’s about living your life with a person who loves to live with you, Sanjana” I said and left. <br /><br />Though I convinced myself that it was over, my heart never stopped hoping that she would understand my feelings for her one day and she would love me. But that day changed it all.<br /><br />“It’s becoming difficult for me to keep this with me. Take it back.” She gave me back the scrapbook of memories that I gave her on her birthday. I tried to get a grip over my anger before I spoke. <br /><br />“If you want to get rid of me and my memories, you could have done it in a much easier way by destroying the memories yourself. “ <br /><br />I walked off, resolving that I would never speak to her again. <br /><br />The surroundings of that evening faded away into a blur of colours and soon I was in the empty vortex again, floating. <br /><br />“She regrets it. . . She regrets it. . . “The shadow sang. <br /><br />Wait till I catch you I thought.<br /><br />I jerked my floating shadow in one violent motion. Just as I was about to catch the shadow, it disappeared and I landed on the floor. The morning sun shining brightly into my eyes.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-1976294981282326402010-02-21T06:09:00.000-08:002010-02-21T06:12:14.486-08:00What is it? Part III’ve always heard that Palak residency created headache for the people who lived there. But this time, I got to experience it for myself. Satish said that he couldn’t make it there that evening as he had to take his parents out on a medical appointment which was that very evening. So, I was stuck with my mornings slightly damp clothes. The afternoon’s rain had settled into a nice bright evening. I moved from an easy chair in the lawn to the interiors after I heard my tummy rumbling. Food! I needed to eat something to survive the evening. I got out and walked to the cosy little restaurant at the end of the road and had some hot Aloo Paranthas. I got some more packed for the night and came back to Palak residency.<br /><br />I settled myself in the drawing hall. Since no one ever remained in the house for a very long time, Anita aunty tried to make the place a better bargain by not moving any of the furniture that they installed in their house. I sat cross legged in one of the dark leather sofas that had an inch thick cushion. I connected my music player to the music system and was almost dozing off into a tired nap when the trouble began. The lights started flickering and soon, there were short power failures each lasting a minute or so. I decided to go out and check if there was any problem with the fuse. After a painful search in the hall, I located a torch and made stumbled across to the main switch board to find out that the fuse was absolutely fine. The weather was turbulent again. The wind was blowing hard and I found out that the branches of one of the big Jackfruit trees were brushing against the wires making the supply discontinuous. The branches were too high up and there was nothing I could do till the morning to get the problem solved. So, I came back inside and started searching for some candles only to find out that there were none in the house. I decided to call on the neighbours to ask them if they had any.<br />I was in for an utter shock when I saw her as she opened the door. She didn’t change much from the last time I saw her. Last time brought back sad memories which didn’t seem too sad now. <br /><br />“Hey! Oh. . . Wow, now this is a very big surprise” I said trying to sound pleasant, not quite sure what my facial expression conveyed. <br /><br />“Neeraj? Is that really you? What are you . . .? Wow! Yeah, I’m surprised as well” She said, she looked utterly flustered and her face was that of a stunned cartoon character.<br /><br />“You haven’t changed much. You gained a little bit of weight and your hair grew out a little bit, but you look pretty much the girl I remember” I said. <br /><br />I could have tried to make more formal conversation especially after our last face off but then my natural instinct over powered me and I could not help but notice how she looked, given that I was seeing her after six long years.<br /><br />She responded with a big embarrassed smile flashing her dimples. College memories started flooding my head as she started speaking.<br /><br />“Yeah, I guess I put on a little bit of weight. But, god! You’ve changed a lot Neeraj. You lost more weight. Your tan is worse. Where have you been?” She said leaning against the door locking her deep black eyes with mine. <br /><br />I lost focus for a while. But long experience in college made me good at not getting lost in that deep glance of hers.<br /><br />“Well me? I am working here in Cochin in the IAF as a Flight maintenance engineer. And what are you doing here? I thought you would never leave home. Can I come in?”<br /><br />She reacted in her usual manner when she forgets something routine like calling people inside when they came to her place.<br /><br />“Oh yeah! I just forgot. Come in come in. She said and opened the door fully. I heard the latest Telugu songs issue in full blast from somewhere inside the house. I glanced around the flat as she went inside to call someone. It was a single bedroom flat neatly arranged. Girls I thought. She must have been working somewhere here. <br /><br />“Neeraj, this is my roommate and my best friend Manisha. You can call her Maggie.” <br /><br />Maggie was also Sanjana’s age with a round face and medium built. She looked quite warm and friendly. I could instantaneously make out the reason for her nickname. Maggie had long black hair that looked like her nickname. She greeted me in a nice deep melodious voice.<br /><br />“Oh! So, you are Neeraj. So good to see you man! I’ve heard lots about you.” She extended her hand and shook it vigorously without giving me a chance to introduce myself.<br /><br />“Oh! So you already know me huh? Well I’m not sure what Sanju told you about me, but good to see you.” I said and smiled.<br /><br />Sanjana then went on to explain how she got tired of sitting at home after her engineering and how she managed to convince her parents to allow her take up a job. She worked as a systems engineer in one of the MNC’s there in Cochin. <br /><br />“But, they sent you here all on your own?” I said giving her a quizzical look. I knew her parents quite well. <br /><br />“That is where I come in, Sanju and I are like second cousins and we got selected into the same company and at the same time, so we like got a joint permission and we landed up here.” Said Maggie making a gesture of a plane landing.<br /><br />“So, how is everything else? Your parents haven’t started husband hunting yet?” I asked looking at Sanju and then turning to Maggie to avoid the awkwardness.<br /><br />“Well, I’ve found a guy here in Cochin. We like each other and he happens to belong to the same caste so no problems there. We’ve already notified our parents and the wedding is like a few months away” Said Maggie in an as-a-matter-of-fact voice.<br /><br />“What about you Sanju?” I asked, in a flat voice.<br /><br />“I’d rather not talk about it” She said and turned away towards the window. A mask appeared over her face as she tried to hide her emotions as she always did.<br /><br />“I guess you haven’t found your I-cannot-live with-out guy, is it?”<br /><br />There was this awkward silence for a minute or two. Memories started flooding my mind as I remembered college. It’s strange how an entire chain of unconnected events that have been long locked away in my heart came back to my mind after I saw the subject of those memories.<br /><br />“I came for candles. I’m staying in Palak residency for the weekend. I have some problems with the power connection there. I’ll be glad if you can give me a few candles.” I said and stood up. I had this strange feeling in my gut and it didn’t feel good. <br /><br />Maggie who was quite unperturbed with my awkwardness went inside and fetched three candles and gave them to me along with a match box.<br /><br />“Do come over for lunch tomorrow afternoon. There are hardly any recent restaurants around this place.” Said Maggie with a nice little smile.<br /><br />“I would love to, if that would be okay with Sanju.” I said, turning to Sanju.<br /><br />“Why am I being the jerk here? I don’t have any problems.” She said, and walked off inside.<br /><br />Palak Residency looked darker and scarier with the wind howling though the place. I lit the three candles in the hall and settled myself to sleep in one of the bean bags lying in the hall. My appetite had long died after seeing Sanju there in Cochin.<br />The day I proposed to her, the day she rejected, the day she finally broke my heart. A record that I thought had long ceased to exist in my brain started playing itself all over again.<br /><br />“Not your mistake, not your mistake, not your mistake. . . “<br />Was it a voice in my head? It seemed to come from the outside.<br /><br />I listened more intently. It seemed to come from one of the Eastern bedrooms in the first floor.<br /><br />“Not your mistake, not your mistake. . . “Sang a steady voice, breathless and hushed.<br /><br />I brushed it off as my imagination for the first twenty minutes. But as I tried to sleep, it started getting to my head. I was now pissed and irritated.<br /><br />“Not my mistake?” Hold on for a second I shouted and grabbed the torch lying on the table. I climbed the steps two at a time and looked around. The voice became clearer as I reached the landing on the first floor. It seemed to come from my left, Anita auntie’s bedroom. I stormed off towards the room, my head spinning due to a splitting headache that I had by then. The steady hum of the voice that seemed to come from nowhere was irritating the shit out of me.<br /><br />I slammed the door open and the voice stopped all of a sudden. My eyes were blurred with tears that started running. Damn, headache and sleeplessness. <br /><br />I scanned the room with keen eyes. The big double oak double cot looked impressive even in the darkness. Pictures of Anita aunty and her kids, the shining wooden cupboards, the 30 inches flatiron television, were the things that adorned the lovely room.<br /><br />It was all of a sudden that I saw it coming towards me. It came out so suddenly that I had no time to react. Even before I could make out what it was, everything blackened out and my mind went blank.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-63694045046240885682010-02-14T10:28:00.000-08:002010-02-14T10:30:35.649-08:00What is it? Part I<span style="font-weight:bold;">I moved to the left with speed, still holding my crouching position. I hurriedly removed the bead of sweat from my eye brows that threatened to block my view at the most critical point of time. I threw myself at the yellow object that bounced before my eyes. As I moved towards it, the direction changed and it spun to the right. Stopping myself from moving further to the left, I jumped to my right, just in time to catch it. I stretched my shoulders fully, eyes still on the ball and gave it a conclusive stroke with my bat and watched it as it bounced off the other side of the table in the blink of an eye lid. </span><br /><br />“23-21, you win the game dude”, Satish announced, sticking his tongue at my opponent.<br />Swathi made a face and turned away from Satish.<br /><br />“Chill guys! You did well Swathi, you’ve really improved your game”, I said and gave her an appraising nod.<br /><br />“See, you need to encourage new talent Satish”, Said Swathi and gave Satish a smack on his head with her table tennis racquet. <br /><br />“Hey, but you still lost your arrogant bet dumbo”, said Satish and gave her a short jab.<br /><br />“Whatever guys, I’m out of here.” I said and walked outside.<br /><br />The salty humid smell of the early morning sea filled my nostrils as I stretched myself on the lush green lawns of our Sports club. This was one of the activities I really enjoyed doing everyday ever since I got posted in Cochin for my new job. I searched for my mp3 player and found it in one of my pockets wires all tangled up in a mess. I settled myself down on one of the rocks facing the ocean and started fiddling with the entangled wires. After a minute of struggle, they opened up and I switched on my music machine, listening to the early morning trance music that I do every day after a round of table tennis.<br /><br />I settled myself pretty comfortably, head in my palms and elbows resting on my legs which were settled into a cross legged stance. The last three years have been wonderful. I found a good job that paid me a decent salary, gave me time to pursue my other interests as well. The new city gave me wonderful new pals who never made me miss home. Just as I was entering into a trance where I was really not sure if I was awake or asleep, the vibration of my cell phone brought me back to my senses. I pulled it out and flicked the green button and Anita aunties voice came over the phone.<br /><br />“Neeraj, how are you doing son?” She said in her always warm voice.<br /><br />“Doing good aunty, life here is going great. How are you doing? Everything fine?” I said trying to figure out why she called this early in the morning. Was anything wrong?<br /><br />“Everything is fine beta, just wanted to ask a small favour from your side.” her voice sounding vexed.<br /><br />“Of course aunty, what is it?”<br /><br />“There are some people coming over tomorrow to see our property there in Cochin. Can you just go there and show them around the place and tell them the price and other details” She sounded unsure of my response.<br /><br />Anita aunty was gifted a beautiful estate in Cochin by her husband on the eve of their first marriage anniversary. But later, they found out that the place had some problems associated with it. Locals believed that the property was haunted. Though Anita aunty and her husband were rational modern people, they faced problems whenever they went to Palak Residency. Many a times, one of their daughters used to fall sick or one of their servants used to meet with small freak accidents when arranging things for their arrival. They were in the process of disposing the property to someone else but it kept coming back to them with the same problems again and again. <br /><br />“Did you tell the people about the place aunty?” I enquired, though I knew that Anita aunty would never tamper with the facts. <br /><br />“Yes beta, I did tell them about the place. But, they sounded pretty dismissive about everything. They also further added that some of their relatives were experts of Vastu and recommended the place as good for them.”<br /><br />“Cool! I’ll go show them around then. No problems, I’ll take the day off tomorrow.”<br /><br />“Thanks beta. Why don’t you come over to Bangalore for this summer? Kids would enjoy your company a lot” <br /><br />“Sure aunty, I’d love to come if ma permits me to leave her alone this summer.”<br /><br />“I’ll convince her to leave you this time. But, thanks again for taking the pain.”<br /><br />“Arey aunty, stop it now! I’ll catch you later” I said and cut the call.<br /><br />I was on my bike the next day, traveling through the suburbs of Cochin. I reached Palak residency at nine thirty in the morning, though the winter morning was still dark. I pulled on my jacket closer to get rid of the cold. Rubbing my hands together, I opened the gate and entered the property. Situated in a plush residential locality in the suburbs of Cochin, the property was an awesome place with a well attended lawn and a three storey building. The people who wanted to buy the property arrived at ten and after an hour of looking at the place, they agreed on buying it. They thanked me for showing around and left at eleven, telling me that they would move in after a week. <br /><br />I told Anita aunty about the deal and she was pretty happy about it. Just as I was about to leave, it started raining heavily, making my return journey impossible. By the time it stopped, it was late in the afternoon. Just as I was about to leave, I had a call from Satish.<br /><br />“Dude, my parents came over from Delhi on some urgent business, I was not able to find a proper hotel for them, and can you share rooms with them for today?”<br /><br />“How long will they be staying dude?” I enquired.<br /><br />“They’ll be here on tomorrow and day after. They’re leaving on Monday morning.” He said, sounding uncomfortable.<br /><br />“Chill, Weekend only no. I’ll stay here at Anita aunties place tomorrow and day after. Let them be comfortable.” I said.<br /><br />“Are you sure that you don’t have any problem, we can look for any alternative. . .“ <br /><br />“Arey yaar, told you no, I’m absolutely fine. Relax. Take good care of your parents. But make sure you get me some clothes and my brush in the evening”<br /><br />“Thanks dude. Sure, I’ll get your stuff by six or seven” he said, and hung up.<br /><br />So I had a weekend to spend in a place which I was not so familiar with, I thought to myself.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-15067269383729833822010-02-13T10:05:00.000-08:002010-02-13T10:07:49.476-08:00A Night's Hunt!Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who visited by blog till date and thus helped it in making a thousand hits. So, I would like you all to keep visiting and keep giving me suggestions that would help me get better as a writer. So, why wait? Let’s enter the dream world. : )<br /><br />My dreams, right from my childhood have been very fascinating. Inspired by hundreds of cartoons that I used to watch day in and day out, my imaginations were inspired by huge dinosaurs, gigantic machines and impressive haunted forts. The common element of all these dreams being that, nothing in my dreams is small. Right from the animals to the forts, everything is huge and powerful. So powerful that the commonest of frogs in my dreams can take down an entire house with its sheer weight. ;)<br /><br />Another feature of my dreams is that, they follow a pattern. I once in the first year if my under graduation had a series of almost twenty dreams set in the same surroundings but with different characters. This is the dream that I’m going to tell you in the subsequent paragraphs. The most important of all, I always remember most of my dreams. I narrate them to my friends to make sure that I never forget the important ones. So, let me induce you into my dream world where impossible is nothing. And rationality is considered irrational. : P<br /><br />It is a chilly night. Everything around me is dark and rustling. My eyes open like they were shutters and not lids. I look around at the darkness that engulfs me. I hear myself hissing. I’m angry for some reason. I try to get up to have a better picture of where I stand. My hefty frame feels heavier than ever. It takes me a while to get up. As my eye level elevates from the ground, I get a better picture of my surroundings. Tall green grass forms a beautiful pasture around me. It’s a midsummer night on a full moon day. I hear a rumbling sound somewhere in the background. My head turns a 180 degree with surprising speed and ease. I spot the source of the sound, the river that is running along the meadow. As my senses tune to the surroundings around me, I hear the rumble grow louder by the minute and finally the sound stabilizes to a gentle roar. The water looks brilliant, radiating silver from the shining full moon. I swallow in a dose of fresh air that fills my lungs with a hiss. For the second time in the night, I hear a second rumble. But the sound this time, seemed to come from within me, a rumble that set my insides on fire. I was feeling hungry. I wanted to hunt. But why should I hunt? Should I not satisfy my hunger with the fruits that I see on the trees nearby? Should I not satisfy my thirst with the fresh water running in the river? My senses said I needed something bigger, something more delicious. And the liquid should be more than just normal water. It should be more vitalizing and energising, something hotter, something with a taste to it. I scan my immediate vicinity, my senses sharper, and my brain working faster. I could almost sense the vibrations in my surroundings. I wanted to hunt, to kill. I find something moving in a distance. Ah, food. Impulsively, my muscles contract and my body becomes rigid. I can feel the wetness oozing in my mouth. But the smarter part warned me to think, think of a plan that would ensure that the prey shouldn’t slip away. Slowly, I start crawling though the grass like water on a plane. So swift were my movements that, even the sharpest of ears couldn’t make out the faint rustle that my movements made. I was an invisible enemy plane hiding in a cloud bag, waiting for my chance. <br /><br />Inch by inch, I close in onto my prey, a fully grown animal dressed in some colours that didn’t suit his natural appearance. It seemed to be humming something to itself. Poor thing, didn’t know that its life would end in a few minutes. As I raise my head from the darkness to reveal myself to my victim, my head reaches a towering ten feet from the ground. My victim senses my presence as I’m about to strike. It runs on its legs his instincts of survival aiding it to gain speed. I get back into the grass and I start moving through the grass once again. Eyes were of little use to me when I was able to sense the distance with the sound my prey made. I hear a creaking sound and the unhooking of a heavy latch in the distance. I raise my eyes above the grass and almost smile to myself. The prey did his move just according to my plan. He entered my castle, the chamber of death for my victims. It manages to secure the lock before I could manage to gain entrance. I hear a low hiss escape my chest with fury. My swift senses manage to spot a hole in one of bigger walls. I remember making it myself one day. With one lucid movement in creep in though the narrow slit and enter my castle. The huge central hall was glistening with the light that came from a thousand candles lighted all around the place. The sparkles were added by the reflections of the crystals that hung from my chandelier. I see a dark cloud engulf the moon though one of my windows that extended all the way to the ground. As my sense of smell drinks in the surroundings, the fragrance of my Lillie’s hits my nostrils and I experience a momentary high, forgetting my hunger. Another rumble issues from my stomach and I focus back on the work at hand. The stench of my victims sweat seemed to lay a trail to me in the deep fragrance. I tip toe on the spiral staircase at the end of my grand reception hall, making almost zero sound. <br /><br />I spot my victim standing hesitantly on the bridge of my death chamber. The bridge was narrow and didn’t support weights of the victims if they were not swift in their run across. Below was a gigantic iron ball with spikes long enough and thick enough to drill in holes through the bodies of the victim. The victim seemed to take time in measuring his chances of survival, too late. I emit a hiss and raise myself on my lucid body. The victim paralysis with fright and takes an automatic step back in cover. The victim makes a choice and decides to sprint across the bridge. With almost zero effort, I throw a part of my body across the victim blocking him from the opposite direction. That part of me seemed to float in mid air. The victim, completely castled by my sudden move, paralyzes completely and his senses freeze. Dead senses meant half dead. Only the physical force needed to be taken out of him. My head now suspended in mid air, raises a few feet higher with little effort, my body moving like a liquid below me. Adrenaline rushes though my blood and my teeth start emitting a low viscous transparent fluid. I open my moth wide, two pointed razor sharp teeth showing, dripping with the liquid. I dig in my teeth deep into the victim, as my body wraps itself around it, arresting its final facilities of motion. The blood of my prey enters my mouth, still warm and fresh just as I liked it. I squeeze the prey dry before I devour it. I crawl back across my hall, idle and lazy after a tiresome hunt which didn’t prove to be futile. As I come back into the lawn again, to gaze at the bright moon and the shining stars, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the cold black water. My midsection looked bulged and my forty foot length seemed shorter. I give myself a satisfied hiss, my snakes’ hunger satisfied, not wanting to eat till I feel hungry again. I look for a place to sleep with no fear of anything. I am a snake, a hunter made by nature. I kill only when I’m hungry unlike my recent prey which eats without reason.<br />When I wake up in the morning, I find myself totally disoriented and confused. What was with this whole snake episode? Maybe it’s time we changed and stopped unnecessary hunting and killing. I try to get my bearings back and align myself before I begin to college. Maybe, someone or something did try to send a message across to me.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-49040526944222658542010-01-05T05:33:00.000-08:002010-01-05T05:34:22.298-08:00Kill<span style="font-style:italic;">I sat in the groping darkness looking for a means of escape. My fading strength and growing anxiety only made things worse. My brain started clouding and my thought process became slower, the first sign of impending death. I heard a low grumble from somewhere under me. The predator was fast approaching and I had no idea on how to face it. <br /></span><br />“Don’t run! It will spot your foot falls with ease”, one of my brain warned.<br /><br />“If you don’t run now, you will be hunted down sooner or later”, the other part countered.<br /><br />The grumble transformed into a scream of vigour and anger. It was close approaching. I had to do something immediately to save my life. Then, the scream ceased and I spotted something lurking in the shadows behind me. My instincts to survive over powered everything and I broke into a run. Fuelled by pure adrenaline I run across the darkened wide hallway. As I ran, blind with fear, I felt wetness on my dry lips. It tasted like iron. My nose was bleeding from the exertion. But I did not have time to stop. Rest would mean death to me at this point of time. As the screaming of my hunter drowned away, my knees faltered and I collapsed, face down. My legs ached terribly from the strain and my head was spinning. The whole world was a blur of colours to me at that moment. Why was I here? Why was I being hunted down like this? Questions began to swarm my brain as I started breathing though my mouth to supply more oxygen to my aching heart. Life had not been easy for me defending myself from the demons that tried to conquer my world. But I always fought, never trying for a compromise with the demons. I lost everyone and everything in the process. My loved ones, people who fought for me and people who fought with me. Why was I running now? When all that I could live for has been reduced to a pile of rubble? I was selfish. I wanted to save my own life when so many others could give their life for mine. What would I achieve from survival? <br /><br />I heard footfalls approaching in my direction. The time has come, death was approaching and I had two options. Run and survive like a prisoner for the rest of my life. Fight and die like a hero, just like my brothers who fought for freedom till their very last breath. I felt a seething anger rise within me. My muscles tensed and a low roar rocked the insides of my body. Fear was replaced with recklessness, a recklessness that made my entire body numb and made the pain a nonentity. I looked around and found my sword hanging from the door. I smiled to myself as a shaft of moon light made it glitter. I was almost as if it was joining hands with me, for the cause of destroying the enemy. I lifted the sword and felt a wave of emotion pass within me. My brain felt light and clear. It had a single thought. KILL OR GET KILLED! The door unhinged with a loud crack and the predator came inside. It raised itself on its hind legs and opened its mouth, showing razor sharp glistening white teeth with saliva dripping from them. It was hungry and didn’t look in a mood to wait. It moved forward with lightning quick speed and pounced onto me with its full strong paws opening. I stood there, unmoving waiting for it to come. I flattened myself on the ground just as it was about to strike me on the face. The demon took a while to come to rest, its heavy frame finding it difficult to lose momentum. Meanwhile, I brought myself back to my full height and launched myself onto the demon. I caught hold of its rough scaly back and dg my sword deep into its back. The whole room shook as the demon fell to the ground letting out a scream of agony and pain. My vision blurred as the demon shook violently to get rid of me. I held firmly onto its back sinking my sword deeper and holding on tight to the hilt. It recovered soon enough and got back onto its full height. I pulled with all my energies and the sword which was stuck deep came out, bringing a blob of green sticky fluid along with it. I rolled onto the floor as the demon spun back with blinding speed and struck me in the ribs almost crushing them with the impact. I saw the living daylights being knocked out me as the pan began to spread through me. I landed a few hundred feet away, sprawled across the floor, blood issuing from my mouth and head. The demon was sure that it had me dead. It started running across the hall growling in anticipation for the tasty meal that lay in front of it. I had only one chance. The sword was still in my hand. I could still move it though I was not sure if it was in a single piece. As the demon ran to me, I saw everything slow down and my vision could focus on nothing but the moving shape. The demon that destroyed my world, the demon that destroyed my family, the demon that made took away my happiness. I felt desperate. Was I to die in its hands? I lifted myself just as it was about to pounce on me. It caught the demon surprised and without time to stop. I raised the sword and stuck it deep into its throat. It dropped to the ground with a dull thud, dying instantly, more out of shock. I stood there, swaying for a second. My heart filled with contentment. The moon looked brighter than it ever did in my entire life, before everything blackened out permanently.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-84945537106549248632009-12-18T09:50:00.000-08:002009-12-18T21:11:14.962-08:00Lights. . Camera. . Action!<span style="font-style:italic;">It's been a while. . .<br />I know I've shouldn't have kept you waiting. . . <br />But it's worth the wait. . . (I hope!) </span><br /><br />Day and Date: A hot summer day in 2008. In fact, it was the hottest day that summer.<br /><br />Location: Ushodaya junction, Visakhapatnam.<br /><br />Scene: A Police officer trying to catch a fleeing thug.<br /><br />Actors:<br /> K Chaitanya, a.k.a. K.C. as the Police officer.<br /> Chandramouli Daga, a.k.a. Mouli as the fleeing thug.<br /><br />It was the first time I was going to shoot a film. Our director/producer/story writer, Mouli worked hard in the last few months to put together the team of people who were now part of our unnamed film project (later named as “In the End”). The people present that day were; Me, Mouli, K.C., Abhiram and Jonah.<br /><br />I was pretty excited in spite of the scorching sun. I bet everyone else was as excited as I was. The scene had to take place on four houses which had almost connecting roof tops. Yes baby, we are talking about park over. <br /> <br />The scene went something like this. Mouli, the thug enters on his Avenger and parks his bike; and starts walking towards the pre-planned place where he has to collect something. (Since he is the bad guy, understood that it is something illegal) As he reaches the place and awaits the delivery, he is shocked by the sudden appearance of a police officer with a gun (Of course, you need a gun!). Even as Mouli tries to convince the Officer that he is after the wrong guy, he starts running; Henceforth beginning the chase. <br /><br />The first part of the whole shooting business was to convince the people living in those houses to give us permission to shoot. We went to them; tried to convinced them, coaxed them, confused them and did whatever possible. Though most of them agreed readily, happy that their house is going to appear in a movie, no matter how trivial, we had one old man, who was not in a mood to give permission that easily.<br /><br />Man (In a strict voice): What are you shooting?<br /><br />We (Sincerely): Sir, we are shooting a movie for a college project (Of course, bull shit!)<br /><br />Man (Suspiciously): What project?<br /><br />We (Intelligently): It is actually a Movie making competition sir. We are taking part in that. (Trying to confuse him)<br /><br />Man (Confusedly): You have permission from your principal? <br /><br />We (Again, Sincerely): Of course sir! (As if we really asked anyone!)<br /><br />Man (Not-quite-convinced): Show me the permission letter.<br /><br />We (Faces screwed up in a pleading/pathetic way): Actually, we didn’t get it sir. We were in a hurry since the last day is fast approaching. If good people like you don’t help us, how will we do it sir?<br /><br />Man (Falling for it): Will you be careful and not break/damage anything?<br /><br />We (Sincere expression returning, in unison): Of course sir!<br /><br />Man: OK. You can shoot then. But in case anything is damaged. . . (Wagging a wrinkled finger at us)<br /><br />We (PETRIFIED/SCARED): No sir!<br /><br />Man (Pleased): Go ahead. All the best!<br /><br /><br />We then got on top of a three floor building opposite to these houses like agents from a Bond movie as we didn’t have permission to use those roofs. Mouli started explaining me the scene with so much fervor and intensity that, I was too scared even to move (the thought was that, he would beat me up if I did). He screwed his eyes in concentration and made a frame with his hands and pointed to the road from the roof top. <br /><br />Mouli (His tone grave and precise): I will enter the scene from a few hundred feet away from the place I’d stop. You have to keep me in the frame and follow me until I stop. Then, capture me walking till I disappear into the steps of the first house. Then shift the frame down and capture K.C. coming from this building that we are standing on currently.<br /><br />Me (Standing in attention, Hands folded): Mm Hmm . . . (Nodding furiously)<br /><br />Mouli: Next scene, we will shift to the houses where we begin the park over. (At the mention of the word park over, he gets excited and starts bouncing up and down) Let’s do it baby! (Pokes me in the ribs). I’ll give a missed call once I start. You start recording then.<br /><br />Me (Excited as well, but nothing compared to Mouli): Yeah, let’s do it. <br /> <br /><br />Next, Mouli starts on his bike after giving us the missed call. I start recording. Sadly, there is another guy on a similar Avenger. I follow him till half way. Abhiram spots the mistake and points to the direction in which Mouli is coming. Damn, we had to do a retake! Mouli, who remains a sport for a second shot on any given day, agreed without much ado and I spotted him this time, spot on. I was elated on finishing my first shot on a movie shoot. Cheers. But, the day had just begun and the experience of shooting movies also had just begun. <br /><br />We toiled the rest of the morning till late afternoon, forgetting trivial things like lunch and tan. I had to run around holding our camera for the film, a 5.0 Mega pixel canon powershot camera. Yes, you read it right; we were shooting with a digital camera. Cool, isn’t it? Though it records the sound of wind and shakes, for people who think the quality of the movie would be like that of a security CC TV camera, I would challenge them to say the same after they see our movie. <br /><br />Back to business, Mouli and K.C. did a pretty awesome job for a park over considering that all of were armatures with this stuff. (I am not giving a self-compliment but this is what people told us) Mouli and K.C. jumped roofs while I crouched and slouched in awkward positions to make sure that I got the angle in the director’s mind as he wanted. : ) after finishing the shoot which ended with the bad guy a.k.a Mouli successfully escaping the police, almost every scene took three or four retakes. We were completely exhausted and out of breath by then. As we huddled up at the place where we parked our bikes, the old timer from the morning came back.<br /><br />Man: Finished?<br /><br />All of us in unison: Yes sir! Thanks a lot.<br /><br />Man: Which college did you say you people were from?<br /><br />All of us, again: MVGR College sir!<br /><br />Man: Yeah! I know your principal pretty well, actually when I was working at some place. . . <br /><br />He started ranting off on some memories of his golden young days as we continued dripping sweat. The hunger was fast catching up. With perfect synchronization, me and Mouli got onto our respective knees and let out a grunt of pain and tiredness, pretty much audible to everyone. The old man caught the signal pretty fast.<br /><br />Man: Right then, all the best for your movie. Hope it turns out the way you want it to be.<br /><br />All of us in unison: Thank you sir!<br /><br />As the old man left us, we shared hi-fis and started on our way back to our respective homes. This was the beginning for many more to follow. This was only the beginning. : )Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-11778782205691392182009-11-25T20:06:00.000-08:002009-11-25T20:32:52.182-08:00An year down the memory lane!It's been an year since the horrifying terror attack took place in Mumbai. The financial capital of our country was put in turmoil by a bunch of crazy lunatics who thought destruction was the way to achieve their objectives. Hundred lost their lives and the psychological trauma left behind was beyond the scope of imaginations. But the Mumbaikars recovered soon enough and brought back our financial capital to life. As we pay homage to our heroes like, <br /> Assistant Police Sub-Inspector Tukaram Omble[37], who succeeded in capturing a terrorist alive, with his bare hands.<br />* Mumbai Anti-Terrorism Squad Chief Hemant Karkare<br />* Additional Commissioner of Police: Ashok Kamte<br />* Encounter specialist: Vijay Salaskar<br />* Senior inspector Shashank Shinde<br />* NSG Commando, Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan<br />* NSG Commando, Hawaldar Gajendra Singh<br /> My very good friend Pradyumna, who is a good writer himself did a post on the tragedy and it's impact on our society. Hope it makes you think, just like it made me think. Good job dude. Enjoy the post guys. . . <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">March 12th, 2003: </span><br /><br />A series of thirteen explosions in Mumbai, then called Bombay, resulted in 257 deaths and over 700 injuries. The blasts were orchestrated by the organized crime syndicate called the D-Company, headed by Dawood Ibrahim. <br /><br />We Indians are a bunch of peace loving people. We are extremely tolerant. For the next 15 years all terrorist attacks that killed scores of innocent Indians, wounded and crippled some for the rest of their lives had one simple fact to tell. The simple fact was overwhelmingly clear and barely obvious on the surface of it. Yes, we can take a lot more, we can take a lot more of blood-shed, yes, we have a lot many people to spare (after all, we are the 2nd most populous country in the world), and yes, every enterprising terrorist is never denied a right to kill under an equal opportunity scheme in the world’s biggest democracy. Rats from across the border are cordially received by the rats inside the country and successfully bombs are planted and human life is juiced and pulp-ed. In an overwhelming urge to welcome all people, in an unending desire to press all people to our bosoms, our hearts, we couldn’t identify the rats from across the border and those rats among ourselves (these are of the dangerous kind, the kind that feed on milk from the breast of a mother and then strike her dead) we attracted the wrath of un stable nihilistic rats, surprisingly humans, who kill for no reason. <br /><br />And what did we do about it? Nothing! We adjusted. Well if they planted bomb in a train, the next day we took the train again, we never questioned why? because our near or dear werent there on that train. And if they were there on that train, what did we do? We questioned God but never once questioned ourselves! <br /><br />Why did this happen? how could a bunch of radicals, a dozen armed mad-men come into the heart of this country and wound my brothers and sisters? How could they raise questions on the integrity of the population? 'We’ are always waited for some other person to raise the questions while we ourselves were comfortable and safe. We always looked at the government that is always rendered inactive during times of crisis (they are always too busy blaming themselves). But then something happened, one day exactly one year back that changed the thought process of the “<span style="font-style:italic;">AAM AADMI</span>”: <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">November 26th, 2008:</span> <br /><br />The 2008 Mumbai attacks were more than ten coordinated shooting and bombing attacks across Mumbai, India's financial capital and its largest city. The attacks, which drew widespread condemnation across the world, began on 26 November 2008 and lasted until 29 November, killing at least 200 people and wounding at least 308. <br /><br />I still remember that dawn of November 26th, 2008. It was a pleasant morning. Chilling and lazy like any other winter morning. There were no signs of any impending holocaust. But, I still remember how I watched with horror as the terrorists took siege of the Taj hotels and the Oberoi hotel. I still remember the visual of terrorist, who was looking very much like like any other student, shooting at people in the Chatrapati Sivaji Terminal. I remember how I watched the Indian fight against terror for the next 3 days. As I watched all these visuals of what was happening to my brothers and sisters there, along with the rest of the country, something seemed to seethe and simmer inside me......my blood started boiling. So did the blood of all other Indians who were watching what was going on. <br /><br />These attacks were a slap across the face of India, a slap that awoke all Indians from their indifferent slumber. For once the tolerance of Indians broke, for once they were tired of staying mum, of adjusting, of tolerating, of accepting, of being defeated, of being run about, of fear, of indifference, of nihilism, of fucking terrorists who took lives of their brothers and sisters. It was high time it all stopped and that was the day when Indians thought ‘<span style="font-style:italic;">ENOUGH IS ENOUGH</span>.’ <br /><br />Ultimately always good comes out of bad, and in that sense bad is also good in its on way. Heroes were born. Ordinary people reacted in an extraordinary way. The entire nation for once forgot its differences and came together to raise voice against the injustice, against the madness. For once, Indians identified themselves as Indians, not as Punjabis, Rajasthanis, Tamils. The whole country prayed for their brothers and a sense of universal brotherhood prevailed. The world was shown what 1 billion of people, who stood on one word can achieve. The spirit that was India was displayed. Every Indian, raised above his small problems and stood up for the cause. The cause to save Indians, not to tolerate such incidents of horror again. <br /><br />Today, one year after it all happened, I think we can all assert with confidence that we are a different bunch of people. This time around we are a more mature lot of people. We saw the spirit that is Indian and the unity among ourselves. We realized the need to remain united against all these challenges. To raise our voice against terrorism in all forms. For sure there wont and should not be another 26/11. Come lend a hand.........and let it reverberate... <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jai Hind! </span><br /><br />By,<br />Pradyumna MalladiSri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653944696510322608.post-84483363381990611582009-11-25T11:36:00.000-08:002009-11-26T12:55:07.841-08:00A bolt of lightning!I was inspired after reading a blog written by a girl from someplace I didn’t know. She wrote a firsthand account about how a girl would feel when she is about to kiss her boyfriend for the first time. I was quite disappointed that she ended the write up saying that it was all a dream that flashed through her brain while listening to a romantic song. Nevertheless, her narration was fantastic and very good to read. So, here I am, trying to write something romantic myself. I don’t expect it to be like Nicholas Sparks, A walk to remember or Eric Sehgal, Love Story. So, please bear with me. <br /><br /><br />This incident which is not exactly romantic is still a very memorable incident which I still happen to remember till the very trivial detail. It happened when I was doing my plus two. Those two years were the dark ages of my life. Along with being extremely bad in grades and irritable in behaviour, I was also fat and extremely unappealing. Many of my relatives wrote me off as a kid who didn’t talk much and kept himself to himself. It was December and my uncle was visiting India along with his family. We were having a real blast and lots of fun. We were in MGM Selvee World, a basically crappy but the only theme park in our city that made it popular. After paying 125 bucks for the tickets, we were able to get onto most of the rides given the fact that most of the rides are always under repairs. After finishing a few rides, we came up to the place with the Giant Wheel. That was an impressive addition to the park at that point of time because a theme park is never complete without a giant wheel. <br /><br /><br />As I stepped out into the openness of the park, a wave of cold swept from the ocean brushed against my face. It got better when the mist from the sea gave a tinge of warmth to the air. I could almost taste the salt in my mouth as I sucked in the cool sea breeze. I got high and started humming a happy tune. My three sisters were too busy talking to enjoy the climate. They were discussing about the latest Barbie dolls in town. (Err; Sushu, Bharu and Meena don’t mind you were pretty young then) My uncle was trying to make sure that we stayed and talked as a group. We queued up near the giant wheel. People were being put into cabins, four persons each. Since the thing was very new, the staffs were being extra careful and also extra fussy. <br /><br /><br />My uncle and my three sisters hopped in as soon as an empty one arrived. Through my uncle tried to convince the operator guy into putting me also into the cabin, he refused after looking at me, saying he had “weight considerations”, the asshole. I imagined punching him square in the face thrice and only managed to scowl at him and moved aside, feeling quite upset. I got into the next one, hoping I’d get a good view of the city which I could savour. I was also wishing that the cool breeze would drown the anger induced by the operator ass. As I settled myself into the next cabin, I spotted someone enter the cabin. I tried not to stare too much as I started capturing her face in the shimmering neon lights of the park. There was this song “<span style="font-style:italic;">Beete Lamhein</span>” from “<span style="font-style:italic;">The Train</span>” playing in the back ground. The image of her face remains etched in my head till this very moment and I recollect it as I type this on MS word 2007.<br /><br /><br />She was tall, slim and fair with a golden honey complexion that looked more radiant and bright in the orange neon light. Her eyes were soot black and had the depth of a black hole. Her gaze had a magnetic quality just like the depth of the black hole. Once you lock into the gaze, it’s almost impossible to unlock. She had cherry red pouted lips (No, she didn’t wear lipstick I am fairly sure) that held her beautiful smile. Her hair had a life of its own. She had the most wonderful soft and straight hair which reached till her shoulders and was left open to play with the wind. She entered the cabin pink and flustered. She was having great fun obviously. She thumped down on the semi-circular seat of the cabin, sitting exactly on the opposite side facing me. She uttered an audible grunt as her friends took another cabin as per the space requirements. <br /><br /><br />She acknowledged my presence with an enthusiastic hello. I looked up to greet her and I saw her much more completely this time. She was wearing a white t-shirt which said some incomprehensible nonsense along with a few specks of colour thrown in at random places. She wore brown cargos and sensible sport shoes. (I’ve seen females wearing pointed heels while dancing. God save them if they slip.) I nodded and greeted her with a straight face and extended my hand and introduced myself.<br /><br />“Hi! I’m Harsha.”<br /><br />“Hi Harsha, Good to meet you. I’m Shruthi.”<br /><br /><br />We then exchanged information about where we lived and what we were studying. I was in my second year of my plus two. She was one year my junior. I told her about my college, Sri Chaitanya and how they tortured us in the college day in and day out. She was a sympathetic listener and she also had her own experiences in FIIT JEE. I tried not to look too much at her, as she kept her deep black eyes locked on me all the topped with her magnetic glance.<br /><br />“I live in Hyderabad and this is the first time I’ve come to Vizag. Beautiful place your city. I’m having a real blast.” She said.<br /><br />“Yeah, you people must be loving the beach isn’t it? All you have in Hyderabad is a water tank which is fuller with Ganesh idols most of the time.”<br /><br />She laughed heartily at my stupid joke. The wind started blowing the hair into her face sending it into her eyes and her mouth making her look like one of those Pepsodent ad models. She brushed the loose curls aside and started speaking again. <br /><br /><br />The ride by then had begun and the cabin stopped mid way as there were more people getting into the giant wheel. The wind here was much cooler and much heavier with the mist. I was lost for a moment in my own thoughts. I started sucking air through my mouth to taste the saltines of the sea. I caught her looking at me with an expression, mixed with curiosity and anxiety.<br /><br />“Oh, I was just trying to taste the saltiness of the air. It becomes salty when it mixes with the mist of the sea you know. I just like doing it”<br />She closed her eyes and took a lungful of air though her mouth. She looked thoughtful for a minute and opened her eyes.<br /><br />“Yeah, tastes good” she said with a smile. <br /><br /><br />I pointed out the various places in the city. From that height, in the night, Vizag was a big box of shining neon light jewels shimmering bright in the deep darkness. As the wheel started spinning, I started screaming just for the heck of it. The girl herself was completely unfazed and looked at me as I screamed. <br /><br />“It gives more excitement to the ride I feel.” I said, feeling stupid for screaming like a ten year old.<br /><br />She smiled her Pepsodent smile again and soon we were screaming “WEE” at the top of our voices both of us trying to sound louder than the other. After four rounds, she was able to identify Kailash hills and Dolphin nose with the knowledge I passed on to her. After fifteen minutes or so (lost count of time so I was unsure about the duration of the ride) the ride ended and soon we had to get off. <br /><br /><br />“It was great fun talking with you, I thought I’d get very bored” she said.<br /><br />“Me too, you were also fun to talk with” I replied.<br /><br />Since this is a real life experience none of us took the initiative of exchanging phone numbers or mail id’s. It doesn’t make sense when you know the girl only for ten minutes I thought. We shook hands and moved towards our respective groups. <br /><br />“Hope I see you someday again” she said, with her smile fading away into a straight face. <br /><br />“I wish the same” I said with a blank expression to hide the momentary sadness I felt.<br /><br /><br />I never saw her again after that but the memories of the day stay etched in my brain till this very day. Such is the course of life; some people enter in like bolts of lightning making you see the day light in the middle of the night, but only for a minute. Some people are like candles, they stand by you till they perish. Ignore the bolts, and stay faithful to your candles.Sri Harshahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13240831795632448184noreply@blogger.com3